Schools are open after 2 years, due to Covid. Daksh was very excited to goto school. Since, its only 15 days of school in this month. I decided to drop him to school.

As we have to drop our kids at the school gate. I dropped him, and he went straight inside. I kept watching him untill I lose sight of him. I was afraid inside as I was leaving him. As a parent, where kids are living under your care and protection. When kids go outside, its a constant fear for their safety.

Inside, I felt proud about him. How kids adapt themself to face this world. 

Afraid to See Daksh Going Alone in School - Kids Growing

Since when Daksh started playing Chess. I also started playing, and I got so addicted to it that I play 20-40 games a day. That too, after so much control. These are live games, and take lot of time.

My ranking got all time high in 5 minutes Blitz.

Chess Ranking Update for 5 minute Blitz Rounds - My Addiction

Today, I got news that one more guy is leaving Adobe. Adhunik Gupta.

He was one of the guy with whom I'm impressed the most. When I first met him, he was almost 1 year experience. But, the way he talked, the way he solved problems, the way he explained something was something to learn from him. 

Over the years, he proved himself as one of the most reliable and most important team member. He is also one of stylish person. I liked the way he talks.

He is joining Google-london. Which suits his skill set and style. Anything lesser than Google will not suit him. I wish him all the best in life.

Adhunik Resigned - Google London

This year 2022, we have to get her admission finally to a school. As, she is turning 4 this year, and this is high time. Daksh is also studying in the same school.

The disadvantage in her case was that she has never went to some play-school. Due to Covid times, the schools were closed for full 2 years. We recently get her admitted to an online play-school footprints. Thanks to her mother, brother and youtube. She knew many things. She speaks english well. Sometimes, I even surprised how well she composed her sentences.

Let me tell you the story of her admission:

Bhavika is very very shy kid. Recently, I visited my maternal home. We stayed there for 5 days. But, she did not speak a single word to my brothers/bhabhi etc. Even, we did not get a chance to hear her clear voice. She spoke so slow there. Due to covid times as well, she never visited any physical school or any neighbours or parks. So, she has negligible social presence.

We filled her admission form online, and she got a call almost immediately for an interaction.

It was a google meet call. Where teacher asked so many things like drawing, name of animals, etc and etc. She responded so well. Maa'm gave a clean chit.

Second Interaction with the Principal Maam

So, first interaction was not enough. We had a second call and this time we parents, also had to sit with her. It was a call on mobile. Bhavika was excited. But, when the time came for her to speak. She did not speak a single word. The problem was that the principal madam was not speaking well according to kids. And, Bhavika got scared. I was so pissed-off with Bhavika that she did not speak anything. I tried to cover up for her. But her principal maam, said that there will be another round of interaction in school.

We were kind of angry to school that how many rounds you want from a 3 year old kid!

So, I took 2 hours off from office and we went to school. This time, we we made a plan. We took Daksh with us. And, I asked Daksh to let her engage in some activity and make her speak. We tried some combinations of tricks that Bhavika loves. 

Anyway, we reached school. There was rush of parents. Our turn came up fast. We all went in a room with a senior madam. She was very sweet, and the way she interacted with her was so cool. But, Bhavika was shy as usual. But, this time she was replying her. She learned some rhymes. But she did not sing that after so many requests. She interacted with Daksh as well. As he is from the same school. So, it was an advantage with us. She opened up an animal book, and asked names of many animals. Bhavika responded pretty well. She answered with the names which I was not even aware of, like Star-Fish, Crab :)

Anyway, she gave us a hint that its all ok. Her coordinator maam, Ritu told us to go back as principal madam was having a meeting. And, she straight away gave us the amount that we need to deposit if principal maam agrees. She said, 99.99% is done, but wait for principal maam.

We were sured of the admission. We had a Pizza Party that night. Daksh enjoyed it.

I got a call today (22 Feb 2022) that her admission is confirmed, and deposit the fee. She gave us a discount of 20% in the admission fee. 10% for sibling and 10% as girl child.

We had to deposit total of 119,500 Rs which includes one quarter fee. Its pretty expensive. I hate this about Noida.

But, I was very happy. Bhavika cleared her life's first exam. And, she joined the club of students.

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Bhavika finally got admission to Gyanshree School - Not an easy one!

Instantly, one thing came to my mind that she got some offer or so.

I called her, and she started speaking like giving an official status. I laughed and congratulated her.

She gave her official resignation to Suman. She said, Suman did not like it, and was not expecting this.

The times are very challenging for management. Lot of people are leaving...

I think managers should be ready for this. They should make them feel happy and congratulate them on their progress.

I will write more about Shriya later. She was an intern, worked with me for most of her internship.

Shriya Leaving Adobe - Microsoft

Hitesh had to come to greater noida for a wedding event of his friend. He planned to meet in greater noida, with Ayush. I had no car, as Kanika took it her home. I took an Uber, reached there at Pari chowk. While waiting at Pari chowk, it reminded me of my old days, when I used to wait for bus in a crowded place. Now, the time has changed. Its a luxury, lets appreciate it. 

We went to some boring mall, and we had to goto Venice mall. We went there, and kept on talking about shitty things. When Hitesh and I talk, our direction move towards startups/life. I tried a lot not to talk about these things. But, when we talk, our direction goes there automatically.

Ayush must be thinking, what is wrong with these guys. Overall, it was a good time. 

We took some Nawabi chai from a small cafe: "Chai Le lo". And, the tea was really awesome, I forgot to take the pic. In lunch, we had chur-chur naan.

A meet with Hitesh and Ayush

Since last few months, lot of oldies left Adobe, our team. Its a big blow to our team.

Ankit Rustagi left Adobe

Its an usual weekend, and we went to park to play. Some kids brought rabbit and birds in the park.

Bhavika was so happy to see them. Daksh and Bhavika both played with them.

Bhavika played with Rabbit

Pankaj Bansal from another team approached my manager, and he sugested my name to him as Java Expert to take interview for his team.

I focused on Java and little on Micro services. He was 9 years experience.

Overall, I rejected him with a strong No.

An Interview with a 9 years Experience Guy

I'm thinking hard these days that why am I living with her. Even if I hire a maid, she will take less money and will do whatever I will ask her to do. I know this is bad thinking, but I'm not happy with her.&nbsp;
I have seen girls who fights with in-laws, others, BUT not with husband. And, she fights with me. The reason, only known to her.&nbsp;
I started feeling that she is having some mental issues. Her anger is too much. Kids are also facing this. Everything is going well, then all of a sudden she made the atmosphere worse. She is a master of this.
I keep thinking of separating from her, and thoughts of living separate with her. It feels good, but thinking of kids made me sad.&nbsp;
I tried talking to her father. But, he is such a useless person. He did nothing, instead he tried making me understand. I was so pissed off. Now, I'm in no mood to talk to anyone. I will now make a decision (If I could), and just convey them.
When will I get that courage?

I'm not able to take hard decision - Separate from her

Yesterday night, I was having suicidal thoughts again. I mean, there was no life. I can not talk to her, she is always in fight mode. Yesterday, I went at 7:30, prepared tea by myself. I played with kids.
In night, at around 5AM, I started having abdonimal pain. And, suicidal thoughts were coming. I was so frustrated, and thinking to kill myself. My health was too bad.

Suicidal thoughts again

Daksh learned https://www.photopea.com/, and learnt it quite fast. Its like Photoshop. I do not even know how to work on Photoshop. But, he learnt it well.

Daksh made Drawing - Happy Diwali

Its my daily duty to wake him up for school. In Covid time, its at around 7:15 AM. But, before that it was at around 6:30 AM.

The pain is not in waking up early because of him. I usually wake-up at around 6AM. But, he takes so much time to wakeup and put his feet on ground. Sometimes, it took somewhere around 10-15 minutes. It disturbs my schedule as well. 

He talks rude. This makes me angry, and I finally left and ask him to wakeup at whatever time you want. Then, he wakeup by himself. Not a single instance, that when I left he didn't wake-up. But, it feels very bad to listen to his rude replies.

Sometimes he says, remove my name from school. He said, I will email to principal to remove my name :)

He takes time to wake-up. Rarely it happens that he wakes up in few minutes and with a smile.

But, its not a complaint. It is just a memory. I love him, and he knows that.

Big Pain - To Awaken Daksh Each Morning

So, today I had to go to the following work:

I drank milk, and went to work without any breakfast.

I purchased cleaning stuff first and went to the flat. The work was going so slow, I don't think we can shift to flat.

I then went to the IGL office, where I asked the formalities needed and where can I get the affidavit. I then, went to the authority office for the affidavit, came back. The lady then asked me to get the signature of Kanika as she was the co-owner. I said, I will do it. She said, no. She said, take this form, get it signed by your wife and courier to us. I thought, its a long process. I asked, do I also need her ID. She said No. I tried my luck, I said she is sitting in the car, let me go for her signature.

I went out for few seconds, did her signature and came back. She knew I did it by myself, still she took it. Relax. Its done,

I then went to a shop where Kanika asked the shopkeeper to prepare our stuff. But, he has not prepared it. I had to wait. I then asked him that I have other work and I went for electrical stuff.

After that, I came back and get it loaded into the car.

I then went to Sector-9, searching for shops. I found one where I can find Le-Grand switches. I gave him the list, and he was preparing my order. At the end, he gave an amount to which I said, I will do Google-Pay. He said it will come to my account. I said so what, you are the business and you should pay taxes. He said, he will need to pay taxes. I said, by asking for more money you are taking taxes from customers, not paying by yourself.

I was so pissed off, and stood from there saying that I have wasted my time here. Let me know if you are doing it. The bill was for 12700 Rs and he asked for 800 Rs more. I offered that I could do it 13000, else I'm going. They agreed.

On returning, I get the items off-loaded in the flat and went back to the house. Where I first took the lunch. I was so hungry. I had to meet Abdul, but couldn't meet as I was feeling tired and slept.

Went to market for so long with no food

I've been thinking of divorce. Yesterday night, I watched few videos of divorce. How to take, about kids. Effect on kids.
Whenever, I think of separation, I think of kids. I can not stay. away from kids. But, when she does her usual anger stuff, I felt so frustrated that I feel my life is also important. I also saw importance of sex in marriages. We have no sex life. I do not remember last when we had sex.&nbsp;
I learned that kids do also suffer in a bad atmosphere. It's better to take divorce than stay in an unhealthy relationship. Kids also saw us fighting. What they will learn about relationships.
I feel that I'm just a few steps away from taking this decision. I'm feeling so intolerable of her.&nbsp;
She is so dominating that I feel suffocated.&nbsp;

I'm thinking of Divorce

Devansh called me, to have casual chit-chat. Our talk was due since last Sunday.

He always has all the updates from our team. He already left Adobe and joined Microsoft. But, he knew about everybody even now. He gave me knews that Prakhar selected into Microsoft and Google and he is joining Google. I was like, WOW.

He was telling me that you should also try as they are hiring at much higher pace and is giving good salary. It was very tempting to listen.

I listened, and told him my view point and my vision of my future.

I told him that I'm not going to change anymore, Read more here. 

I was very clear in explaining my perspective and my thoughts. He understood it very clearly, and respected it. 

I know, its very tempting to see when everybody around you are going to big companies, and you can also do better. But, I want to take a pause from this rat race.

I'm reading a book: "Psychology of Money", and there I read that we should stay away from social race.  And, I know I'm earning decent enough that I do not need to go anywhere else. Work life balance is dawm good here. So, why do I leave? Just for social pressure?

I'm happy for Prakhar. He is a brilliant guy.

I told him, that my long term goal is not this. I even suggested him to meet at regular frequencies to discuss any ideas that we might have, and may be we can make it big. We have decent amount to bootstrap our ideas. He liked the idea. Lets see, how we can materialize it.

Another Unheard Man

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