i can't help but wonder what others see when they look at me. do they see someone confidant or scared? happy or sad? crumbling or strong? both or neither or all at once? is my fear noticable? are my worries and stress written on my face? can they see how much i crave the social contact but shy away from it at the same time? do they pity me?&nbsp;&nbsp;i don't want something to grow from pity. i want a real connection but i fear that their fondness toward me is like a wet cat or a stray dog, not a genuine human connection.

june 3rd, 2025

Mallorca, the jewel of the Balearic Islands, is not only celebrated for its breathtaking landscapes and Mediterranean charm, but also for its ever-evolving aesthetic scene. With a growing number of international homeowners, luxury villa developments, and boutique hotels, the demand for high-quality&nbsp;<a href="https://almondgroveinteriors.com/interior-designer-mallorca/">interior design in Mallorca</a> has never been higher. Whether you're renovating a rustic finca in the countryside or outfitting a modern apartment in Palma, professional interior design plays a crucial role in bringing a space to life.<h3>The Rise of Interior Design in Mallorca</h3>Over the past decade, Mallorca has seen a surge in property investment. As more people from across Europe and beyond choose to buy homes on the island, the need for tailored, stylish interiors has followed suit. Interior design in Mallorca has developed a unique identity - one that blends Mediterranean heritage with international flair. Designers are drawing from the island’s natural palette of stone, sea, and sunshine to create spaces that feel both luxurious and rooted in local culture.Unlike the minimalist trends of Northern Europe, Mallorcan interiors often feature a warm, organic touch - think terracotta tiles, exposed beams, linen textiles, and custom wooden furniture. However, this doesn’t mean the style is stuck in the past. Many designers are introducing contemporary elements, such as sleek lighting, modern art, and innovative use of glass and metal to offer a fresh interpretation of traditional aesthetics.<h3>Tailored Design for Every Property Type</h3>Interior design in Mallorca is far from one-size-fits-all. Properties range from centuries-old fincas to brand new seafront apartments, and each requires a different design approach. A professional designer will understand how to maximise the potential of your space while preserving its character.For rural properties, the challenge often lies in balancing authenticity with modern comfort. Retaining stone walls, restoring original features, and working with local materials are key strategies. In contrast, urban properties — particularly in areas like Palma, Portals Nous or Santa Catalina - often lean towards a more cosmopolitan style, integrating smart-home technologies, open-plan layouts, and bespoke furniture solutions.<h3>Sustainability and Local Craftsmanship</h3>A growing number of interior design studios in Mallorca are embracing sustainability. The use of eco-friendly materials, energy-efficient appliances, and locally sourced décor is becoming more mainstream. Designers are increasingly collaborating with Mallorcan artisans to create one-of-a-kind pieces that not only reduce the environmental footprint but also support the island’s economy.Wicker lampshades, handmade ceramics, and traditional Mallorcan fabrics such as “llengües” are being incorporated into modern interiors. These details lend an authentic feel to a space, telling a story that resonates with both residents and guests.<h3>Why Hire a Professional Interior Designer in Mallorca?</h3>While some homeowners are tempted to take a DIY approach, hiring a professional can make a world of difference. Interior designers bring not only a creative eye but also a wealth of practical knowledge, from spatial planning and lighting design to project management and local regulations.Furthermore, designers who specialise in&nbsp;interior design in Mallorca are familiar with the unique challenges that can arise when renovating or furnishing properties on the island - from navigating local suppliers and contractors to sourcing the right materials that withstand the island’s climate.A good designer will work closely with clients to understand their lifestyle, taste, and functional needs. Whether you're designing a holiday home or a full-time residence, they’ll help turn your vision into a reality, ensuring that every detail contributes to a cohesive and inspiring environment.<h3>Choosing the Right Interior Design Studio in Mallorca</h3>With so many designers operating on the island, choosing the right one can feel overwhelming. Start by looking for studios with a strong portfolio that aligns with your aesthetic. Many designers offer consultations or mood board presentations to help you understand their approach.It’s also worth choosing a designer who is fluent in English (or your preferred language) and who has experience working with international clients. This ensures smooth communication and a more streamlined design process.Don’t hesitate to ask for references or visit completed projects if possible. The best studios will be proud to showcase their work and explain the story behind each design decision.<h3>Conclusion</h3>Whether you’re building a new property or renovating an existing one,&nbsp;interior design in Mallorca offers the opportunity to create spaces that are beautiful, functional, and deeply connected to the island’s unique character. By blending tradition with innovation, and comfort with style, Mallorca’s designers continue to redefine what it means to live well - Mediterranean style.

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Transforming Spaces with Interior Design in Mallorca

Indian journalist Ajit Anjum stands as one of the most respected names in Indian media today. With decades of experience in political reporting, television anchoring, and now digital activism, his voice resonates with those who value fearless journalism. Known for his integrity and bold questions, <a href="https://doc.clickup.com/9016952486/d/h/8cq7hn6-516/cf1c12254a058b8">Ajit Anjum</a> has left a deep imprint on the evolving landscape of Indian journalism.<h2>Early Life and Education</h2>Born in Begusarai, Bihar, Ajit Anjum had a modest upbringing. He pursued journalism with a passion that stemmed from a deep desire to highlight the voices of the marginalized. He completed his education in Bihar before moving to Delhi to begin his media journey.<h2>Career Highlights</h2>&nbsp;<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6iCbVk58EZnqERMRZAynqJWgBaF1st-pqtLC4GFjnBHdPx8X7ZNtcvpirsYKB1cOwgsPloSY7hQXsP7EaquSblopWsHLiEofRvYFmilf3X1bgGsAvUMTQXlsrsjGIWJPw5oGrdIwDOVUU_wtZ1IDjKL2GaG_AZgnNTcMLdhqgYELwO6N7fJnSTkYZVU/s1280/Indian%20Journalist%20Ajit%20Anjum.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6iCbVk58EZnqERMRZAynqJWgBaF1st-pqtLC4GFjnBHdPx8X7ZNtcvpirsYKB1cOwgsPloSY7hQXsP7EaquSblopWsHLiEofRvYFmilf3X1bgGsAvUMTQXlsrsjGIWJPw5oGrdIwDOVUU_wtZ1IDjKL2GaG_AZgnNTcMLdhqgYELwO6N7fJnSTkYZVU/w640-h360/Indian%20Journalist%20Ajit%20Anjum.jpg" alt="Indian Journalist Ajit Anjum"></a> Ajit Anjum started with Print Media but rose to fame through electronic journalism. His tenure at <a href="https://mediaexpose.in/category/media-outlets/zee-news/">Zee News</a>, Aaj Tak, News 24, and India TV saw him cover major political and social stories. As a political reporter, his ground-level coverage was widely appreciated.&nbsp;<h2>Shift to Digital Journalism</h2>After leaving mainstream media, Ajit Anjum YouTube Channel became a platform for independent journalism. He now uses social media to critique government policies, highlight human rights issues, and bring under-reported stories to light. This digital transition made him more accessible and relatable to younger audiences.<h2>Awards and Recognition</h2>Anjum has received several journalism awards, including the prestigious Ramnath Goenka Award. He is celebrated for his commitment to ethical journalism and his refusal to align with any propaganda-driven narratives.<h2>Impact on Indian Media</h2>As a senior journalist in India, Ajit Anjum has mentored many young journalists. His fearless questioning and on-ground reporting style have set benchmarks for modern media professionals. He continues to be a strong voice against media bias and paid news culture.<h2>FAQs</h2>Q1. Who is Ajit Anjum? Ajit Anjum is a veteran Indian journalist known for his fearless reporting and sharp political analysis.Q2. What is Ajit Anjum’s YouTube channel about? It focuses on independent journalism, political commentary, and critical news analysis.Q3. Where did Ajit Anjum work before going independent? He worked with Zee News, Aaj Tak, News 24, and India TV.Q4. Who inspired Ajit Anjum’s journalism style? His style reflects a mix of traditional ground reporting and modern digital storytelling, inspired by real-world issues.Q5. What awards has Ajit Anjum received? He has received several awards, including the Ramnath Goenka Award for Excellence in Journalism.Q6. Where is Ajit Anjum from? He hails from Begusarai, Bihar.Q7. Who are similar journalists to Ajit Anjum? Ravish Kumar, Punya Prasun Bajpai, and Abhisar Sharma are often mentioned alongside him.Q8. What topics does Ajit Anjum cover? Politics, elections, media critique, and social justice issues.Q9. Where can we follow Ajit Anjum? On his YouTube channel, Twitter (@ajitanjum), and other social media platforms.Q10. What is his journalistic ideology? Ajit Anjum supports truthful, unbiased, and grassroots-level journalism.<h2>Conclusion</h2>In a time where media often bends under political pressure, <a href="https://mediaexpose.in/category/fake-news-peddlers-journos/ajit-anjum/">Ajit Anjum’s journalism</a> stands tall as a beacon of integrity and courage. His journey from traditional TV studios to independent digital platforms showcases his adaptability and dedication to honest reporting. As mainstream media faces trust issues, journalists like him are leading the way in rebuilding credibility and empowering citizens with facts. With his fearless voice and relentless pursuit of truth, Ajit Anjum continues to inspire a new generation of journalists and truth-seekers across India.

The Inspiring Journey of Indian Journalist Ajit Anjum: From Ground Reporting to Digital Advocacy

Are you a parent in the UAE curious about the <a href="https://lppn.ae/">French kindergarten curriculum</a>? Whether you are considering a French international school or just want to understand the basics, this article will help you learn everything in a simple and clear way.<h2>What Is the French Kindergarten Curriculum?</h2>The French kindergarten curriculum, also known as “maternelle”, is a key part of the French education system. It is designed for children between the ages of 3 and 6 years old. The goal is to help young children grow in a warm, creative, and structured environment.<h2>Why Choose the French Curriculum in the UAE?</h2>The UAE is home to many French-speaking families and international schools that follow the French education model. Many parents choose the French kindergarten curriculum because it:<ul><li>Encourages early learning through play</li><li>Builds strong language and communication skills</li><li>Promotes creativity and independence</li><li>Focuses on social and emotional development</li></ul>Whether you live in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, or Sharjah, you can find French schools offering this curriculum.<h2>What Do Children Learn in French Kindergarten?</h2>The French curriculum is divided into five main learning areas:<h3>Language and Communication</h3>Children learn how to speak clearly, expand their vocabulary, and express ideas.<h3>Physical Activity and Motor Skills</h3>Kids improve movement, balance, and coordination through fun physical games.<h3>Exploring the World</h3>This includes basic science, nature, and learning about time and space.<h3>Artistic Expression</h3>Children are encouraged to draw, sing, dance, and use their imagination.<h3>Early Math Skills</h3>They begin learning about numbers, shapes, and patterns in a fun and simple way.<h2>Is French the Only Language Used?</h2>Most French kindergartens use French as the main language of instruction. However, many schools in the UAE also offer English and Arabic lessons, helping children become comfortable in multiple languages from a young age.<h2>Who Can Enroll?</h2>The French kindergarten curriculum is open to children of all nationalities. You don’t have to speak French at home to enroll your child. Many schools offer support for non-French speakers, making it easier for your child to adjust.<h2>Final Thoughts</h2>The French kindergarten curriculum is a great option for families in the UAE looking for a balanced and enriching start to their child’s education. With a strong focus on early development, language, and creativity, this program prepares children for a smooth transition into primary school.

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What is the French Kindergarten Curriculum? A Simple Guide for Parents in the UAE

Finding the right <a href="https://milesofsmiles.ae/">nursery Dubai</a> can feel overwhelming with so many options available. As a parent in the UAE, you want to ensure your child is safe, engaged, and receiving the right foundation for lifelong learning. Here’s a quick guide to help you manage your decision-making process.&nbsp;<h2>1. Curriculum and Educational Approach</h2>Not all nurseries follow the same teaching philosophy. Choose one that aligns with your child’s learning style and your family’s values.&nbsp;&nbsp;<h2>2. Qualified and Caring Staff</h2>A top priority should be the qualifications and experience of the teaching staff. Look for nurseries where teachers hold early childhood education credentials and have a nurturing attitude. In <a href="https://justpaste.it/redirect/3e8c7/https%3A%2F%2Fmilesofsmiles.ae%2F">nursery Dubai</a>, many institutions employ multilingual teachers, which is ideal in a multicultural setting like the UAE.&nbsp;<h2>3. Location and Accessibility</h2>With busy schedules, location matters. Consider how close the nursery is to your home or workplace. Some of the most sought-after areas for a nursery Dubai include Jumeirah, Downtown, Dubai Marina, and Al Barsha, offering both convenience and quality.&nbsp;<h2>4. Safety and Cleanliness</h2>A reputable nursery Dubai will maintain strict safety standards, including secure premises, CCTV monitoring, and hygiene protocols. Always schedule a visit to assess the environment personally before enrolling your child.&nbsp;<h2>5. Daily Routine and Activities</h2>The best nurseries offer a balance between structured learning and play. From arts and crafts to outdoor play and storytelling, ensure the daily schedule promotes physical, emotional, and cognitive development.&nbsp;<h2>6. Parental Involvement</h2>Good communication between parents and teachers is essential. Many nurseries in Dubai use apps or daily reports to update parents about their child’s progress and activities. Choose a nursery Dubai that encourages feedback and regular parent-teacher meetings.&nbsp;<h2>7. Reputation and Reviews</h2>Do your research. Read online reviews, talk to other parents, and check social media pages. A well-reviewed nursery Dubai is more likely to meet high standards of care and education.&nbsp;<h2>Conclusion&nbsp;</h2>Choosing the right nursery in Dubai involves thoughtful consideration of curriculum, staff, safety, and communication.&nbsp;Among the many options, Miles of Smile stands out as the best&nbsp;nursery Dubai has to offer, delivering exceptional early education in a nurturing, multicultural environment that parents can trust.&nbsp;

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Choosing the Right Nursery Dubai: A Guide for Parents in the UAE

If you're in Dubai and craving a world-class dining experience, the&nbsp;<a href="https://leresto.salmontini.com/">Salmontini Le Resto menu</a> is something you need to explore. Known for its blend of European finesse and Middle Eastern charm, this restaurant offers a memorable culinary journey. Here's a quick breakdown of what you can expect:<h2>Fresh Seafood Selection</h2>The Salmontini Le Resto menu is famous for its premium salmon, oysters, and sushi. Each dish is crafted with high-quality ingredients and exceptional attention to detail. &nbsp;<h2>Signature Dishes</h2>Don't miss out on their signature smoked salmon platter and black cod miso – two customer favorites that define the elegance of their offerings. &nbsp;<h2>International Flavors</h2>From French-inspired dishes to Japanese delicacies, the Salmontini Le Resto menu reflects a sophisticated global palate, making it ideal for both adventurous and classic diners. &nbsp;<h2>Elegant Ambience</h2>The restaurant's upscale yet cozy environment enhances the overall experience, perfect for date nights, business lunches, or celebrations. &nbsp;<h2>Curated Wine List</h2>Their expertly chosen wine list pairs beautifully with every course, especially seafood, enhancing each flavor profile. &nbsp;<h2>Final Words</h2>Whether you're a Dubai local or just visiting, the Salmontini Le Resto menu promises quality, variety, and a touch of luxury in every bite.

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Discover the Highlights of the Salmontini Le Resto Menu

&nbsp;<h2>Rajagiri Waterfall: Odisha’s Hidden Gem</h2>Tucked away in the dense forests of the Khandapada Range, approximately 20 kilometers from the town of Khandapada in Nayagarh District, lies the mesmerizing <a href="https://orissaguide.com/rajagiri-hill-stations-rajgiri-waterfall-nayagarh-odisha/">Rajagiri Waterfall Nayagarh</a>. Often overshadowed by its more famous counterparts, Rajagiri offers an authentic and tranquil experience for those willing to venture off the beaten path.<h2>The Journey to Rajagiri</h2>Reaching Rajagiri is an adventure in itself. From the nearest village, Malisahi, a 6-kilometer stretch of narrow, jungle-clad paths leads travelers to the base of the hill. This segment is accessible by two-wheelers but demands caution due to its rugged terrain.The real challenge begins with the trek up the hill. Covering a distance of 2 to 3 kilometers, hikers navigate through dense forests, encountering wild bushes, thorns, and uneven rocky surfaces. The journey, though arduous, rewards adventurers with the sight of the waterfall cascading from the hill's peak.<h2>The Waterfall and Its Surroundings</h2>Rajagiri Waterfall is not a singular cascade but a series of three waterfalls, each more captivating than the last. The primary waterfall emerges from the hill's summit, with two larger falls situated below it. The middle fall, in particular, offers a serene bathing spot, making it a favorite among visitors.Beyond the waterfalls, the hill is adorned with several temples, including Gupteswar Kunda, Hanuman Mandir, Panchalingeswar Temple, Hanuman Pada, and Mahavir Temple. These spiritual sites add a cultural dimension to the natural allure of Rajagiri.<h2>Flora, Fauna, and Activities</h2>The surrounding forest is a haven for nature enthusiasts. The area boasts a rich diversity of flora and fauna, with sightings of various bird species, including kingfishers, herons, and egrets.For adventure seekers, the region offers opportunities for hiking, rappelling, and rock climbing. The challenging terrain and the thrill of conquering nature's obstacles make Rajagiri a sought-after destination for those seeking an adrenaline rush.&nbsp;<h2>Best Time to Visit</h2>The optimal period to visit Rajagiri Waterfall is from October to June, with the winter months being particularly favorable. During this time, the weather is conducive for trekking and exploring the surrounding areas.&nbsp;<h2>Accessibility and Amenities</h2>While the journey to Rajagiri is rewarding, it's essential to note that the area lacks commercial establishments. Visitors are advised to carry their own food and water supplies. The nearest bus stop and railway station are in Nayagarh, approximately 14 and 13 kilometers away, respectively. The closest airport is Biju Patnaik International Airport, situated around 101 kilometers from the site.&nbsp;&nbsp;<h2>Additional Information</h2>Opening Hours: Daily from 7:00 AM to 6:00 PMNearest Bus Stop: Nayagarh (approximately 14 km away)Nearest Railway Station: Nayagarh (approximately 13 km away)Nearest Airport: Biju Patnaik International Airport, Bhubaneswar (approximately 101 km away)Best Time to Visit: October to June, especially during the winter season<h2>Nearby Attractions</h2>Gupteswar Kunda: A sacred water body located atop the hill.Hanuman Mandir: A temple dedicated to Lord Hanuman.Panchalingeswar Temple: A temple with five Shiva lingas.Hanuman Pada: A sacred footprint believed to be of Lord Hanuman.Mahavir Temple: A temple dedicated to Lord Mahavir.Kantilo Nilamadhaba Temple: A historic temple located near the Mahanadi River.Satkosia Gorge: A scenic gorge formed by the Mahanadi River.Kuanria Dam &amp; Park: A dam and park offering recreational activities.Maninaga Hill &amp; Temple: A hill with a temple offering panoramic views.Tarabalo Hot Spring: A natural hot spring located in the region.<h2>Travel Tips</h2>Wear Comfortable Footwear: The trek involves uneven and rocky paths.Carry Sufficient Water: There are no commercial establishments nearby.Respect Local Customs: Maintain decorum, especially near temples.Avoid Littering: Help preserve the natural beauty of the area.Travel with a Guide: Consider hiring a local guide for a safer and more informative experience.

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Rajagiri Waterfall Nayagarh

Today, I got this table from my landlord. Earlier, he gave me his chair too.&nbsp;I've been craving for a bigger table for my laptop, where i can stretch my both hands. But, I had a very small table with me. Whose depth was very small, just enough to cover laptop.&nbsp;I've been saving money on smaller things. I earned a lot, but struggling for these basic things.&nbsp;

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Got  bigger table | Happiness in small items | Hardship

i want to try journaling again; i haven't written a diary since i was a kid.my life is like walking through a dense forest lately. every time i walk around a tree, everything looks the same but different. everything is new and scary and exciting and good and bad, all at the same time.i want to write fanfics. i want to write journal entries. i want to learn how to write essays for a ged i'll probably fail. i want to eat. i want to sleep. i want to read books and manga and light novels. i want to kiss some guy i've only seen through a youtube video, but not in a romantic way, just in an appreciation because he's talented way. like how people kissed the hands of kings of old.i want i want i want i wanti crave companionship and money and things most normal people want. i just don't know how to get those things yet.

april 23rd, 2025

Today, I saw a girl was getting beaten up by her mother. She was crying, alone. I asked her to come to me. Then a man said, his father died sometime before, and she says her father has gone to holidays.I instantly cried for you Bhavika. Remembering, I was your pillar of strength, which looked always. After going everywhere, you came to me, for support, for strength. You knew I was there for you always.Now, I'm not there. It pained me so much. Remembering you, always brought me so much tears instantly.&nbsp;I still says, I'm there for you always. These are bad times. I just wish that GOD gave your mother some budhhi that she understands that we two never had any relation but our kids needs their father too. I'm lying helpless here. But, Im fighting in court for your custody and visitation rights.&nbsp;Im far from you, but remember whenever you call me. I will near you, with you, for any kind of support.Forgive me my child, for giving this pain. Pain of separation.I love you, love you very very much.I believe in GOD, and Im sure he will help us meeting again, soon.&nbsp;

Bhavika... God will help us meet again...

It's the 1st of February. Yesterday I decided that from tomorrow I will start writing on this website and publish it online. Some days will be great, some will be sad, some will be anxious, some will be full of lessons, some will just be a letter to my past to future self, while some will be the comfort for a stranger.&nbsp;&nbsp;I write because I love it. Writing is something that I never want to stop. I hope my writing will help someone someday. I always want to understand people, how they are feeling, what is bothering them, and the things they can't express to anyone and question themselves; I don't want that.&nbsp;Because they don't deserve that. Don't worry; you will be fine, and I will post an article on this website every day :)&nbsp;

Commit to Myself 

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 41 now.Im feeling as if I'm starting my life exactly 17 years ago. Searching for work, living a bachelor life, struggling for daily chores.&nbsp;

Im 41

I've been ahead of myself lately. I'm not always the best at things or picking the right words at the right moments and It feels like there's always an empty space and when that empty space is gone life shifts and feels better but eventually the room becomes empty again. Actually i'm use to the room being empty its been empty most my life in fact its been so empty i forgot what it felt like to not be the only one in the room anymore. Well anyways I encourage strength be strong focus make the best out of life.

Empty room

Spriha is diagnosed with dengue and she probably picked up the bug from Delhi itself. we were supposed to fly back together on 19th August, but i returned alone. It was miserable. It constatntly felt like I was leaving her behind. It could have and should have happened to me. She cant be sick, nothing bad should ever happen to her. I feel lonely without her. I hope she gets better soon, I have so many plans for her. I am going to miss being with her on her birthday. Its so sad. But I will try as much as I can to make it up to her. I love her so much.

Feels like I left her

A man who wishes to protect the women in his life…. wonderful women in his life—his mother, daughter, sister, wife or girlfriend—All are his strength and inspiration, He often feels a strong sense of responsibility to ensure their safety and well-being. This protective instinct may lead him to impose certain restrictions, such as advising them to avoid unsafe areas, be cautious about the sur oundings they are in, or take precautions when they are traveling alone. His possessiveness may stem from a deep desire to keep them safe from harm, though it's important that this does not infringe on their freedom or autonomy.His intense is to provide a secure environment where they can thrive, balancing his protective nature with respect for their independence. He expresses his love and commitment to their safety, reaffirming his lifelong promise to stand by them and protect them in every way he can.Dear Woman,You are valued, and forever guarded by the strength of those who care for you. Happy Raksha Bandhan! Stay strong and cherished, today and always.From Gentleman.

Happy Raksha Bandhan

Lately iv'e tried to to remain strong I usually do very well keeping it together but recently things haven't been the greatest. I just wish I knew how to be to not be judged or hated or what I could do for people to feel more comfortable around me. I hold my self together pretty well but truth is I don't like being looked at like i'm no good. People misjudge me all the time and call me mean things and say harsh things and everyone else seems to accept each other. I get it though it happens people are entitled to their opinions but sometimes it sucks to hear them.. I'm not A bad guy I just wish more and more people could see that but not temporarily… It would be nice to not feel like some kind of monster or burden, To be honest sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to be truly accepted to not be misjudged. The opinions don't matter I am stronger than that.. than this. I'll pull it together and push through this. I can do it, things will be alright.

Hanging in

I've been looking in the sky past the stars into the void sometimes it feels like it captures me and it's almost as if I dwell there for A little while. I live in reality but I see more than what the eye can catch always staying ahead being strong regardless of what vision is next.

Friday. Thanks God it's Friday. Okay okay. It's not like other weekdays are so hard or so awful. She lives her best life now. She is good-looking, smart, fit, and has a good job, an apartment, a car, and a small dog who she loves to the Moon and back. Okay, she doesn't have anybody who creates butterfly movement in her stomach, but still, it's much better than it could be. She came from the office happy that her coworker, who she can't stand, will be off on Monday. What is wrong with her coworker? He is arrogant and vain. She doesn't care about him, but she is more happy when he is out of the office.This weekend will be easy. She doesn't have any particular plans - the maid will come tomorrow and clean the apartment, and on Sunday she will go to the gym and out of town.It's very calm nowadays. No new people in her life. She is a little upset, but maybe because of her age, she is not worried. When she looks back she understands she could not live as before - too many clubs, too much alcohol, no sleep. Now she prefers cozy evenings at home with her small dog - Peach, who sleeps calmly on her lap instead of a club night. And it would be nice to have a nice guy nearby. She believes everything has its own time.&nbsp;

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Cozy evening. Real time

She was a strong and not confident 30-year-old woman. Why was she strong? She was 2 years old when her father was diagnosed with a spinal tumor. From age 3 she became an adult who cared for her father while her mother was working. Where cared means feeding, giving to drink, and helping to use the bathroom. Why was she not confident? Nobody has ever told her she was smart, or beautiful. Nobody cared about her. She could not blame anybody for that. Everybody was so upset and desperate about what had happened to her father that they didn’t have time to think about her and her feelings. So, in her 30th she didn’t know how to love herself. She didn’t know how to choose men who could love her. But she knew that she needed to work and to be independent. Her mom was always telling her that she needed to earn her own money. Also, her mom told her that she was not beautiful enough to marry a rich guy. So, she was a strong and not confident woman.You think her life was boring. You are wrong. Her life was much more interesting than you can imagine. When she was small, she didn't understand how bad it was that her father could move only his head. She didn't remember him healthy. So she was living her life normally, as she thought. And only on her 30th when her best friend insisted on visiting a psychologist, she understood her childhood was not normal at all.&nbsp;

Beginning

Spriha is very sad today. She was very sad yesterday also. She feels nobody likes her. She feels lonely. I think she feels lonely even when she is with me. She likes the company of other people. I believe I might get too boring for her, or even, she does not like too much of me. I won't say I get her, because I can never have enough of her. Its like, even if I spend 24 hours with her, I'd think, why didn't I spend 25. But I know people who want to socialize and be friends with other people, and that, I believe is actually normal. I am the weird one, and I had accepted that long time back. But there are a bunch of girls in our class with whom Spriha wants to be friends with, but she feels excluded from that group most of the time. She always seems sad now and more than often breaks into tears. Here is the thing: I do not know how to comfort people. She talks to her roommate, and I guess she calms her down pretty well, but it should be me right who is always taking care of her? But I never know what to say. I always end up saying that I will always be with her, and that I am always available and that I will always lover her no matter what, but I feel its not enough. Its not comforting enough. And I believe I am losing my edge in making her laugh. Only if I could do that constantly, she'd always be happy. I really really feel helpless right now. She is very sad. I have bring my bubbly smiley girl back. I hope rest of today will be better. I will try my best.

Why can't I comfort people?

Idk what's gonna happen today. But I just had the best day of my life. I have Spriha, she's a blessing. We are both in IIT Delhi. Every night after dinner, we take a walk and I drop her to her hostel. We went to the field near her hostel, and just laid on the grass, while playing Yellow. It is the best moment of my life. I have never felt this happy ever. It was difficult for me to accept new change, but moments like this give me hope to look forward to the next day.

Starting my journal: Best Day of my Life

Time has come to say good bye to Adobe.Team mates wrote some really nice words…<a href="https://www.kudoboard.com/boards/Znw9woaZ#view">https://www.kudoboard.com/boards/Znw9woaZ#view</a>&nbsp;Yesterday was my farewell… Will update more…

Bye Bye Adobe - Finally After 14 years - Farewell

&nbsp;I don't know what to do and I've asked for some kind of DIRECT sign what to do but nothing is happening for me.&nbsp;On the thoughts of religion and stuff. Well..I have always questioned if I should commit to a faith of some kind. As if I believe it will fix whatever is broken inside of me, both literally and metaphorically. I don't want to be one of those people that only turns to a religion or a deity because they're in distress, done something bad or just feeling sorry for themselves. If I'm going to do it then I want to do it right.&nbsp;&nbsp;

June 22nd 2024

I'm quickly starting to realise that nothing can really save me.&nbsp;I'm still in the same mindset as I have been for however long I've been in the mindset of not wanting to be here.&nbsp;I'm incredibly drained in a lot of aspects of life, I don't even feel like I can be a mother at this point. It's like my body is just here, doing what I have to do, answering questions, listening to what's been said but I feel like I'm so empty but it's not just with being a parent. It's interacting with everyone. It's like playing pretend except you aren't getting any joy out of it. But what is happy really? I don't know, I don't think I'll ever know.&nbsp;