Today, I saw a girl was getting beaten up by her mother. She was crying, alone. I asked her to come to me. Then a man said, his father died sometime before, and she says her father has gone to holidays.I instantly cried for you Bhavika. Remembering, I was your pillar of strength, which looked always. After going everywhere, you came to me, for support, for strength. You knew I was there for you always.Now, I'm not there. It pained me so much. Remembering you, always brought me so much tears instantly.&nbsp;I still says, I'm there for you always. These are bad times. I just wish that GOD gave your mother some budhhi that she understands that we two never had any relation but our kids needs their father too. I'm lying helpless here. But, Im fighting in court for your custody and visitation rights.&nbsp;Im far from you, but remember whenever you call me. I will near you, with you, for any kind of support.Forgive me my child, for giving this pain. Pain of separation.I love you, love you very very much.I believe in GOD, and Im sure he will help us meeting again, soon.&nbsp;

Bhavika... God will help us meet again...

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 41 now.Im feeling as if I'm starting my life exactly 17 years ago. Searching for work, living a bachelor life, struggling for daily chores.&nbsp;

Im 41

Time has come to say good bye to Adobe.Team mates wrote some really nice words…<a href="https://www.kudoboard.com/boards/Znw9woaZ#view">https://www.kudoboard.com/boards/Znw9woaZ#view</a>&nbsp;Yesterday was my farewell… Will update more…

Bye Bye Adobe - Finally After 14 years - Farewell

She is sick these days, and she told me that you do not even call me to know about me. I went home, I do not feel like even see her. I try to ignore her.Even she know this. These days, its her brother wedding, that's why she is behaving normal. Else, she can not say few words with love.I feel like I'm done, what she has done over the years. I have nothing for her. I have told her this many times.Something is dead from inside.&nbsp;

I don't feel anything with K

We have so much friction in us, that we can not talk even for 2 mins.In almost every talk, either she or me gets so irritated. In my case, she just want her point to be implemented. There is no respect of mine. She always shows her irritated face.Yesterday, we have to buy cloths for Shivam's marriage. Ankit suggested her that we purchased it from jwalapur, it might be cheap as well. I told her, if we are going to see things, we can buy from here as well as time also is less. She straight away rejected, saying No. blablabla.After seeing the things, she talked to Ankit. Now she wanted to buy those things. I told her that when I told you you did not agree. She again shows her irritated and angered face. I just couldn't stand against her.&nbsp;Our grah never matched. I can not share my inner thoughts, what I feel, what I'm going through. It's so much frustrating at times, that why me GOD?

We can not talk for 2 mins - So much friction

I'm getting late daily in the morning. I do optimize/tune my time as per need. I getup at 5:40-5:45 in morning, get ready, then goto milk. I came to this routine after lot of experiments. I do this so that kids can goto school on time, and I also save some time.But, she always has a late time. If she has 5 mins, she will sleep. She wake up at a time, when she has no extra time for kids. If any kid do vomit or anything else, she doesn't have time. Everything will be hush hush.Even then, I'm getting late daily. I'm pushing her every 2-3 days, that please wakeup 5-6 mins early, what the hell will go wrong if you getup early. But no. She always has reasons, and ego to fight back.I know how rash and fast I have to drive daily due to her.&nbsp;

Kanika always do late in school time - Everything should be on or after time as per her

Its a Sunday morning. I was working my work as usual. She wakeup at around 8:45, came to me and asked to wake-up kids. I said, let them sleep. She said, Bhavika has a dance class at 11. I said ok, you try to wake them up in between.It was 9:20 when I went. I saw them sleeping. I just said, you could also wake up them up. She was like, I was coming.I hurriedly let kids bath. I dressed up Bhavika as usual. She did not prepare the breakfast even till 10:40. I did puja as well. I talked little, why the breakfast is not ready when she has to go. She was like, I'm preparing.&nbsp;Then, it was 10:50, and I had to shout a little. Why the hell you always do things on time or late. You knew she has to go. Breakfast is not ready. WHy the hell you could not get ready before time, why you always keep in hurry mode. ALways running. If you get ready 5 mins before, if things get ready 5 mins before, will there be any issue?The work which is mine, you never try to touch them as if your hands would burn. If I had to wakeup kids, you never try to wake up them up, if I bath her, you never try, if I help her dressed up, you never. I feed her breakfast, you never.&nbsp;In the meantime, I got the breakfast. I fed Bhavika, and I had to leave. I could not complete breakfast, not even Bhavika.&nbsp;I'm totally fedup with her late antics.&nbsp;I took Bhavika to dance class, came back after having her enjoyed in park. I saw, my plate of breakfast was open, without covering anything. I was again cursing my bad luck with her. SHe could not covered my breakfast as when I will come, I could eat them. That was all in bad condition.Too poor from her. And in all of this, there is no word like sorry from her. She infact shouted back about all this. Her ego always come between us.

Fedup with Her Late Time Management Habits

Last year was very difficult, in terms of money. I received income tax request of around 8-9L last year, plus house expenses. I bought a house, and its work was going on.Recently, I got a payment request for one of my investment in Bhutani property. It was for around 8L. I did not had that money. I mean, I had to sell my company stocks, or the indian stocks that I invested. Which I didn't want to.I was discussing this with Kanika, and I was feeling frustrated. She said, you can take it from me, and return in few months. I clearly said, what is the benefit of you earning. Why do I have to return it. isn't it your investment. For the first time, I said this to her.Her reply was, You have to manage house expenses by yourself. I again said, why I need to return then. And, what do you mean by trouble. Do I need to be a begger to ask you for money.&nbsp;She had no reply! I also moved on, I knew no point of arguing with her.I had to run this family, and I will. God bless us.But, it will always be a point of frustration for me. I spend lot of time in her business, to build for her. But, I get nothing. She sometimes pays for her suits, to which she proudly says I buy it from my money. I was about to ask, what about my money, its not mine, its us. But, your money is yours.It feels bad to have a spouse who earns for herself, not for family.&nbsp;

What is the benefit of her earning - I finally asked

Either you don't invite people to your functions, or if you are inviting people, then invite them well.

I have encountered many situations where its kind of problematic situation whether to go or not. The other person has not invited well.

So, the person is Raman, a distant relative. I don't even has his mobile number in my phone. There is a marriage function of his son. He invited my brother well, who lives in other city. Now, he is coming in Noida, and asked if he invited you. 

That person sent me a whatsapp message, which contains only a pdf. No Hi/hello, No other message. The person has not even his profile photo in whatsapp. I generally ignored these kind of messages. And, I ignored it.

My brother asked, whether you got the card. I said no. I checked, that. invitation was his. I also did not even reply, as if I would reply he might put a message to come. 

But, this is very bad practice of inviting people like this.

A well invited invitation means, at least you call the invitee, and asked him/her to come. What do you mean by a whatsapp message. You are completing your duty, so that when someone asked you did not invite, you will say I have invited. WTF.

I got a call few days back in evening. It was not hearable at all. I could recognise him, and said Namastay. I said repeatedly, your voice is not coming. He simply cut the call, and did not call. I waited for his call.

OK, next morning, I called him back at around 11. He said, bete ki saai hai. I said, Many congrats. And, he again cut the call.

He never said a single time, that you are invited or you have to come. How can someone go like this. 

An Uninvited Invitation

Although, this is my hobby project, and I'm thinking of going ahead in this.

Today, I bought another name: lifeinreel.com

I have some ideas in this space. Lets see.

Lifeintext Next - Life in Pics/Videos

Yesterday night, I was having suicidal thoughts again. I mean, there was no life. I can not talk to her, she is always in fight mode. Yesterday, I went at 7:30, prepared tea by myself. I played with kids.
In night, at around 5AM, I started having abdonimal pain. And, suicidal thoughts were coming. I was so frustrated, and thinking to kill myself. My health was too bad.

Suicidal thoughts again

i cooked an actual meal for myself. it was imperfect but delicious, like life.there was smoke and the food was a little burnt, a little too spicy. but i have learned what to do the next time i cook, for this one dish.

april 25th, 2025

&nbsp;Exploring Odisha Through Its Map: A Journey into India's Eastern GemOdisha, nestled on the eastern coast of India along the Bay of Bengal, is a state known for its rich history, stunning architecture, diverse wildlife, and vibrant culture. But to truly understand the depth and diversity of this beautiful region, one must start with the map of Odisha—a visual gateway into its geography, districts, heritage, and hidden treasures.<h3>1. Geographical Overview</h3>Odisha covers an area of approximately 155,707 square kilometers. The state is bordered by West Bengal to the northeast, Jharkhand to the north, Chhattisgarh to the west, Andhra Pradesh to the south, and the Bay of Bengal to the east. The map highlights a mix of coastal plains, rolling hills, dense forests, and fertile river valleys.<h3>2. Administrative Divisions</h3>The state is divided into 30 districts, each with its own unique identity and cultural significance. Major districts like Khordha (home to the capital Bhubaneswar), Cuttack, Puri, and Sambalpur play a key role in Odisha’s political, cultural, and economic life.Bhubaneswar, the capital city, is known as the "Temple City of India."Cuttack, the former capital, is rich in history and craftsmanship.Puri is famous for the Jagannath Temple and the annual Rath Yatra.Koraput and Malkangiri showcase Odisha’s tribal culture and natural beauty.<h3>3. Natural Landmarks</h3>Odisha is home to a variety of natural attractions, all easily identifiable on the map:Chilika Lake, Asia’s largest brackish water lagoon.Simlipal National Park, a tiger reserve and biodiversity hotspot.Bhitarkanika National Park, known for its mangroves and saltwater crocodiles.The Eastern Ghats, which run through western Odisha and offer rich biodiversity.<h3>4. Cultural and Historical Sites</h3>From the map, you can trace the trail of Odisha's glorious past through sites such as:The Sun Temple in Konark, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.Lingaraj Temple in Bhubaneswar.Udayagiri and Khandagiri Caves, ancient Jain rock-cut shelters.Dhauli, associated with the Kalinga War and Emperor Ashoka's transformation.<h3>5. Tourist Circuits and Travel Routes</h3>Using the map, tourists can plan circuits like:Golden Triangle: Bhubaneswar – Puri – Konark.Tribal Tourism in southern Odisha (Koraput, Rayagada, Malkangiri).Eco-tourism around Chilika Lake, Satkosia Gorge, and Simlipal.<h3>6. Why the Odisha Map Matters</h3>For travelers, students, and researchers alike, the <a href="https://orissatours.com/odisha-of-map/">Odisha map</a> is more than just a layout of land—it’s a guide to exploring a state that balances tradition with progress, spirituality with natural splendor. Whether you're planning a trip or studying its demography and development, the map offers valuable insights.Final Thoughts Understanding Odisha through its map is like unfolding a story of ancient kingdoms, sacred temples, lush landscapes, and a resilient people. Whether you're visiting for its beaches, temples, or festivals, let the map of Odisha be your first step toward discovery.

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Odisha Map

&nbsp;Get Ready for the Upcoming Amazon Sale: Massive Discounts, Limited-Time Deals &amp; More!Are you ready to fill your cart without emptying your wallet? Amazon is back with one of its biggest sales of the year, and it’s the perfect time to grab those wish list items you've been eyeing! Whether you’re looking for the latest gadgets, fashion steals, home essentials, or beauty favorites, this <a href="https://giadesigners.com/amazon-upcoming-sale/">upcoming Amazon sale</a> is packed with unmissable deals.<h3>When is the Amazon Sale Happening?</h3>The upcoming Amazon sale is expected to go live on , running for&nbsp;full days of shopping madness. Early access might be available for Prime members, so make sure your membership is active to snag deals before everyone else!<h3>What to Expect: Categories to Watch</h3>Amazon never disappoints when it comes to variety. Here’s a sneak peek at what categories might feature deep discounts:Electronics: Smartphones, smartwatches, headphones, and accessoriesFashion: Up to 70% off on top clothing, footwear, and accessoriesHome &amp; Kitchen: Appliances, cookware, furniture, and home decor stealsBeauty &amp; Personal Care: Up to 60% off on top brandsBooks &amp; Stationery: Discounts on bestsellers, academic material &amp; journalsDaily Essentials: Grocery, health care, cleaning supplies and more<h3>Deals to Watch Out For</h3>While the exact offers are still under wraps, here’s what we’re expecting based on previous Amazon sales:Lightning Deals: Limited-time offers that are gone in a flashCombo Offers: Buy more, save moreBank Offers: Extra discounts with select credit/debit cardsExchange Offers: Upgrade gadgets at better prices<h3>How to Prepare</h3>Create or Update Your Amazon Wishlist – It helps to track price drops.Download the Amazon App – Stay on top of exclusive app-only deals.Set Alerts – Get notified when your favorite items go on sale.Compare Before You Buy – Use price trackers or review tools to make sure you’re getting the best deal.<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>The upcoming Amazon sale is shaping up to be a shopping bonanza. Whether you're a bargain hunter or just love the thrill of a good deal, this is your moment. Stay tuned, prep your cart, and be ready to click Buy Now—because deals this good don’t last long!

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Upcoming Amazon Sale

i grew up in a place without buses, or perhaps a place where i believed that the buses were not meant for me.now i meet the driver's eyes as he tells me to move to let other people pass. now i press the stop button when someone can't reach it. now i awkwardly wave someone more attractive to me toward an empty seat. now i feel more awkward when they let me have the seat.now i am surrounded by people that i don't know, people that i will probably never see again. i am lonely. i am in awe. i want to make connections but can't make the first step.

april 24th, 2025

&nbsp;<h2>Discovering the Wild Heart of Odisha: A Journey Through Its National Parks</h2>Odisha, the land of temples and tribal cultures, holds within its borders a lesser-known treasure — its rich and vibrant national parks. These sanctuaries are a haven for wildlife enthusiasts, nature lovers, photographers, and anyone looking to escape into the raw beauty of the Eastern Ghats and coastal plains. Let’s dive into the natural wonders Odisha has to offer!<h2>1. Simlipal National Park – The Crown Jewel</h2>Located in the Mayurbhanj district, Simlipal is the most prominent <a href="https://orissatours.com/wildlife-sanctuaries/">national park in Odisha</a>. Once a royal hunting ground, it now serves as a UNESCO Biosphere Reserve, spreading across 2,750 square kilometers. It’s famous for:Royal Bengal Tigers, leopards, elephantsOver 1,000 species of flowering plantsThe majestic Barehipani and Joranda waterfallsDense sal forests and grasslandsSimlipal is a paradise for eco-tourism and a must-visit if you're craving adventure mixed with biodiversity.<h2>2. Bhitarkanika National Park – India’s Mini Amazon</h2>Tucked away in the Kendrapara district, Bhitarkanika is a unique wetland ecosystem, home to:The largest population of saltwater crocodiles in IndiaRare species like the white crocodile and king cobraOver 270 species of birds, including migratory ones like the Asian openbill storkMangrove forests and tidal rivers perfect for boating safarisThis park offers a different flavor of wilderness — wild, watery, and teeming with life.<h2>3. Nandankanan Zoological Park – Where the Wild Roam Free</h2>Though not a traditional national park, Nandankanan in Bhubaneswar deserves mention. It’s a zoological-cum-botanical park with open enclosures where animals roam in natural habitats. It’s known for:White tigers, black panthers, and gharialsA large safari park and aquariumConservation breeding centersLush greenery and tranquil lakesGreat for families and school trips, Nandankanan is a gateway to wildlife education in Odisha.<h2>Best Time to Visit</h2>October to March is ideal for pleasant weather and increased chances of spotting wildlife.Avoid the monsoon (June to September) as many areas remain closed or become inaccessible.<h2>Travel Tips</h2>Carry binoculars and a camera — you will want to capture these moments.Dress in earthy tones to blend with the forest environment.Respect the sanctity of the parks: avoid littering, making loud noises, or disturbing animals.

National Park In Odisha

&nbsp;<h2>From Chandipur to Dublagadi: A Coastal Journey Worth Taking</h2>Odisha's coastline is dotted with hidden gems, and the stretch from Chandipur to Dublagadi (Bagda Sea Beach) is one of those underrated yet unforgettable routes. Whether you're a nature lover, a beach bum, or someone looking for a peaceful escape, this coastal drive has something magical to offer.<h3>Distance &amp; Travel Time</h3>The <a href="https://orissaguide.com/bagda-sea-beach-dublagadi-balasore-odisha/">Chandipur To Dublagadi Distance</a>&nbsp;is approximately 34 to 35 kilometers. The drive takes about 45 minutes to 1 hour, depending on the traffic and the exact route you take.Most travelers opt for the Dublagadi Road, which is locally known as Bagda Sea Beach Road. It’s a smooth ride through lush greenery, with the salty breeze hinting at the sea waiting at the end.<h3>Route Highlights</h3>Chandipur-on-Sea: Famous for its vanishing sea phenomenon, where the water recedes up to 5 km during low tide—truly a one-of-a-kind experience.Rustic villages: En route, you’ll pass by quaint fishing villages and paddy fields, giving you a slice of Odisha’s rural charm.Casuarina forests: Nearing Dublagadi, dense coastal forests line the road, creating a dramatic change in scenery that feels almost cinematic.<h3>Dublagadi (Bagda Sea Beach)</h3>Once you arrive at Dublagadi, you’re greeted by a serene, less-crowded beach with soft sands and a backdrop of casuarina trees. This beach is still untouched by mass tourism, making it ideal for camping, photography, and quiet reflection. On a lucky day, you might even spot red crabs dotting the shoreline.There are eco-resorts and camping facilities available if you want to stay overnight—and trust me, watching the sunrise here is worth waking up early for.<h3>Pro Travel Tip</h3>If you’re traveling in the monsoon or post-rain, check the road conditions beforehand. While the route is generally good, rural roads can get a bit bumpy in bad weather.<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>The drive from Chandipur to Dublagadi is more than just a change in location—it’s a transition from the known to the wild, from touristy shores to hidden coastal sanctuaries. If you’re planning a trip to Odisha, don’t miss out on this beautiful short journey.

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Chandipur To Dublagadi Distance

i want to try journaling again; i haven't written a diary since i was a kid.my life is like walking through a dense forest lately. every time i walk around a tree, everything looks the same but different. everything is new and scary and exciting and good and bad, all at the same time.i want to write fanfics. i want to write journal entries. i want to learn how to write essays for a ged i'll probably fail. i want to eat. i want to sleep. i want to read books and manga and light novels. i want to kiss some guy i've only seen through a youtube video, but not in a romantic way, just in an appreciation because he's talented way. like how people kissed the hands of kings of old.i want i want i want i wanti crave companionship and money and things most normal people want. i just don't know how to get those things yet.

Suicidal thoughts again

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Suicidal thoughts again

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