Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 41 now.Im feeling as if I'm starting my life exactly 17 years ago. Searching for work, living a bachelor life, struggling for daily chores.&nbsp;

Im 41

Time has come to say good bye to Adobe.Team mates wrote some really nice words…<a href="https://www.kudoboard.com/boards/Znw9woaZ#view">https://www.kudoboard.com/boards/Znw9woaZ#view</a>&nbsp;Yesterday was my farewell… Will update more…

Bye Bye Adobe - Finally After 14 years - Farewell

She is sick these days, and she told me that you do not even call me to know about me. I went home, I do not feel like even see her. I try to ignore her.Even she know this. These days, its her brother wedding, that's why she is behaving normal. Else, she can not say few words with love.I feel like I'm done, what she has done over the years. I have nothing for her. I have told her this many times.Something is dead from inside.&nbsp;

I don't feel anything with K

We have so much friction in us, that we can not talk even for 2 mins.In almost every talk, either she or me gets so irritated. In my case, she just want her point to be implemented. There is no respect of mine. She always shows her irritated face.Yesterday, we have to buy cloths for Shivam's marriage. Ankit suggested her that we purchased it from jwalapur, it might be cheap as well. I told her, if we are going to see things, we can buy from here as well as time also is less. She straight away rejected, saying No. blablabla.After seeing the things, she talked to Ankit. Now she wanted to buy those things. I told her that when I told you you did not agree. She again shows her irritated and angered face. I just couldn't stand against her.&nbsp;Our grah never matched. I can not share my inner thoughts, what I feel, what I'm going through. It's so much frustrating at times, that why me GOD?

We can not talk for 2 mins - So much friction

I'm getting late daily in the morning. I do optimize/tune my time as per need. I getup at 5:40-5:45 in morning, get ready, then goto milk. I came to this routine after lot of experiments. I do this so that kids can goto school on time, and I also save some time.But, she always has a late time. If she has 5 mins, she will sleep. She wake up at a time, when she has no extra time for kids. If any kid do vomit or anything else, she doesn't have time. Everything will be hush hush.Even then, I'm getting late daily. I'm pushing her every 2-3 days, that please wakeup 5-6 mins early, what the hell will go wrong if you getup early. But no. She always has reasons, and ego to fight back.I know how rash and fast I have to drive daily due to her.&nbsp;

Kanika always do late in school time - Everything should be on or after time as per her

Its a Sunday morning. I was working my work as usual. She wakeup at around 8:45, came to me and asked to wake-up kids. I said, let them sleep. She said, Bhavika has a dance class at 11. I said ok, you try to wake them up in between.It was 9:20 when I went. I saw them sleeping. I just said, you could also wake up them up. She was like, I was coming.I hurriedly let kids bath. I dressed up Bhavika as usual. She did not prepare the breakfast even till 10:40. I did puja as well. I talked little, why the breakfast is not ready when she has to go. She was like, I'm preparing.&nbsp;Then, it was 10:50, and I had to shout a little. Why the hell you always do things on time or late. You knew she has to go. Breakfast is not ready. WHy the hell you could not get ready before time, why you always keep in hurry mode. ALways running. If you get ready 5 mins before, if things get ready 5 mins before, will there be any issue?The work which is mine, you never try to touch them as if your hands would burn. If I had to wakeup kids, you never try to wake up them up, if I bath her, you never try, if I help her dressed up, you never. I feed her breakfast, you never.&nbsp;In the meantime, I got the breakfast. I fed Bhavika, and I had to leave. I could not complete breakfast, not even Bhavika.&nbsp;I'm totally fedup with her late antics.&nbsp;I took Bhavika to dance class, came back after having her enjoyed in park. I saw, my plate of breakfast was open, without covering anything. I was again cursing my bad luck with her. SHe could not covered my breakfast as when I will come, I could eat them. That was all in bad condition.Too poor from her. And in all of this, there is no word like sorry from her. She infact shouted back about all this. Her ego always come between us.

Fedup with Her Late Time Management Habits

Last year was very difficult, in terms of money. I received income tax request of around 8-9L last year, plus house expenses. I bought a house, and its work was going on.Recently, I got a payment request for one of my investment in Bhutani property. It was for around 8L. I did not had that money. I mean, I had to sell my company stocks, or the indian stocks that I invested. Which I didn't want to.I was discussing this with Kanika, and I was feeling frustrated. She said, you can take it from me, and return in few months. I clearly said, what is the benefit of you earning. Why do I have to return it. isn't it your investment. For the first time, I said this to her.Her reply was, You have to manage house expenses by yourself. I again said, why I need to return then. And, what do you mean by trouble. Do I need to be a begger to ask you for money.&nbsp;She had no reply! I also moved on, I knew no point of arguing with her.I had to run this family, and I will. God bless us.But, it will always be a point of frustration for me. I spend lot of time in her business, to build for her. But, I get nothing. She sometimes pays for her suits, to which she proudly says I buy it from my money. I was about to ask, what about my money, its not mine, its us. But, your money is yours.It feels bad to have a spouse who earns for herself, not for family.&nbsp;

What is the benefit of her earning - I finally asked

Either you don't invite people to your functions, or if you are inviting people, then invite them well.

I have encountered many situations where its kind of problematic situation whether to go or not. The other person has not invited well.

So, the person is Raman, a distant relative. I don't even has his mobile number in my phone. There is a marriage function of his son. He invited my brother well, who lives in other city. Now, he is coming in Noida, and asked if he invited you. 

That person sent me a whatsapp message, which contains only a pdf. No Hi/hello, No other message. The person has not even his profile photo in whatsapp. I generally ignored these kind of messages. And, I ignored it.

My brother asked, whether you got the card. I said no. I checked, that. invitation was his. I also did not even reply, as if I would reply he might put a message to come. 

But, this is very bad practice of inviting people like this.

A well invited invitation means, at least you call the invitee, and asked him/her to come. What do you mean by a whatsapp message. You are completing your duty, so that when someone asked you did not invite, you will say I have invited. WTF.

I got a call few days back in evening. It was not hearable at all. I could recognise him, and said Namastay. I said repeatedly, your voice is not coming. He simply cut the call, and did not call. I waited for his call.

OK, next morning, I called him back at around 11. He said, bete ki saai hai. I said, Many congrats. And, he again cut the call.

He never said a single time, that you are invited or you have to come. How can someone go like this. 

An Uninvited Invitation

Although, this is my hobby project, and I'm thinking of going ahead in this.

Today, I bought another name: lifeinreel.com

I have some ideas in this space. Lets see.

Lifeintext Next - Life in Pics/Videos

Kanika never ever tried to ask kids to goto bed on time, she is on the mobile most of the time in night. Kids are growing old. Daksh talks badly if I ask him to go inside. As I have to wakeup early, to bring milk and get ready. But, nobody gave it a heed, specially Kanika.Yesterday, Kanika was using her mobile since 12:30 in night, and Bhavika was not sleeping because of this. Bhavika kept on singing in night, or disturbing me. I asked Kanika to please stop your mobile, she instantly shouted in night. I'm using mobile in pure silent mode, kids are not aware that I'm using mobile. I was like, why are you shouting in night.&nbsp;

My routine is all disturbed because of kids and her

Today, I called to Ali, plumber for fixing something at house. A lady picked up the phone, and asked for confirmation.

She was about to cry, she said, unka to intkal ho gaya (He is dead). I was shocked, I asked how. It was an accident. I could not say anything to her. After few seconds pause, I just said acha! Cut the call. Shocked! Life is so unpredictable.

Plumber Ali is no more

I booked a ticket for Drishyam-2. I wanted to watch this, but Kanika was not here. I went alone for the movie, in theatre. It was feeling awkward in theatre. But, I enjoyed a lot.

The movie was really awesome. In 2nd half, when the suspense broke. It was completely shocked to see the kind of preparedness shown by the hero. I wanted to clap.

After the movie, I had lunch at Haldiram. I took a thali, and also took Jalebi for me. Mistakenly I bought larger portion of Jalebi. When I took that, I asked him to pack it half. But, he gave me the full box. I was not feeling comfortable to eat that big box there alone. So, I ate that in Taxi.

BTW, Kanika took the car to her home. So, I came here in Taxi. It was a good day.

And and and, after returning. I watched the Malyalam version too, with english subtitles.

Watching Drishyam was a treat

I recently took a new dedicated server. I did talk to lot of vendors. Finally, I did settle for one. It cost around 70K for an year. It was a costly one, but with dedicated one I hope to get good performance.

As soon as I get the server, within 2 days I migrated all of my websites to this. The new migration I did around my websites, really helped me quickly migration. I was feeling proud of myself. I did many things in server too, in quick succession. That gave me lot of confidence, which I needed for sure.

New dedicated server for Planndesign and other websites

I went home, and Bhavika played this song in Alexa. And, she showed so much love to me. She sat with me, and kept hugging me. It was so heart touching. I almost cried.She kept playing this the whole day.

Sabse Pyara kaun hai.... Papa... Mere Papa...

She is usually very fond of doing swing. But, I used to push her on the jhula.

After dinner, 2 days back, she wanted to goto park to enjoy her swing ride. It was already around 9:30, and I wanted to go back home. I asked her to go back home. But, as usual, she denied.

I started moving towards home, and asking her to leave. Then, what I saw was something amazing. She started doing it by herself. And, she was enjoying much. She shouted to show us that she is doing it by herself. We could not ask her after seeing that.

And, she was doing pretty well, so fluent. 

I loved being parent in noticing these minor developments in kids.

Bhavika Started Doing Swing Jhula by her Own - #firsttime

https://www.lifeintext.com/journals/my-decision-to-leave

Since I've applied to another team. I was almost ready to go there. I was winding up my work, doing KTs to others.

Here in Adobe, hiring got freezed. And the position I applied for, could not be cleared. So, I'm back to current team. 

Suman informed me this, and the message was that team is happy to have you back.

I did not show any emotion, as I was getting little hint that this might happen. But, reality hit me after few days :)

Will write privately, as some people started reading this now!

Gorav Singal

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