Our compatibility is the talk of our relation since the begining. Our thinking do not match to even 1%. It feels very suffocating in talking to her.
She is repeating her old habit of being in angry mode out of nowhere. I find this quite true that she is happy till the time I'm spending on her or we are roaming outside. She is quite a headache at home.
I can not talk to her for even few minutes. Her dominating nature is just unmanageable. Its very important to listen to other view point, but she is from a different league with me, specially.
I'm feeling so frustrated right now. It always feel like taking a therapy after talking to her.

Marriage is the most important relation on earth - Can Make you Happy or Sad for whole life

I'm quickly starting to realise that nothing can really save me.&nbsp;I'm still in the same mindset as I have been for however long I've been in the mindset of not wanting to be here.&nbsp;I'm incredibly drained in a lot of aspects of life, I don't even feel like I can be a mother at this point. It's like my body is just here, doing what I have to do, answering questions, listening to what's been said but I feel like I'm so empty but it's not just with being a parent. It's interacting with everyone. It's like playing pretend except you aren't getting any joy out of it. But what is happy really? I don't know, I don't think I'll ever know.&nbsp;

June 16th 2024

When you become a parent you lose sense of everything that you were and are. You become this shell of a human that can't remember what your favourite movie was, boxes of hobbies you used to have remain stacked somewhere gathering dust and you can't remember the last time you even showered without being bombarded with every question known to man as soon as you open the door.&nbsp;Unless you can afford help or have a person that's taking half the load, this is the fate of a parent. You are no longer anyone, just your child's parent and that's all. As time goes on and your child become a teenager and then an adult and suddenly you are no longer a full time parent or responsible for everything they do, say, want and need, you find yourself questioning now what? You have to rediscover yourself all over again but for people like me, for those that have decided that there is no future, you count down the days until your child can go travelling, or has their own home and family so that you can end it all. Of course it doesn't help that I'm incredibly mentally ill and have been since I was 16. As grateful as I am for my children, as much as I love them and would protect them with my last dying breath, being a parent has drained my soul. Being alone has drained my heart. Having no help, having no one has broken me and I can no longer see a future.&nbsp;

April 10 2024

I feel like I am leaving my everything behind. My social life, friends, happiness. There is no one I can confide in. (Hence, I resorted to writing here on this website) It is a lonely journey, whose end I know not. I am not sure if I'll ever reach what I am aiming for. Will I just get lost in the haze before seeing the shore? I am losing motivation and the little hope I had. This is tiresome and lonely. I need someone to reassure me that I am doing fine, that I'll reach my destination, that I'll make it.Also, it is kinda sad how I can not comment on anyone's post. Though I do get the reason why the option is not given. Nonetheless, to all the people who are feeling blue today, like me, I hope it gets better for you. Cheering for ya!With love,&nbsp;lvvlune&nbsp;