I’m not sure why I allow myself to be hurt by you. You have this invisible power over me and I fucking hate it, why do I allow myself to succumb to this pain. I don’t wanna cry over you anymore. You’ll apologize and then do it again. I know at some point I have to gain some self respect and self worth but when it comes to you I don’t know how. I don’t know how to detach from you…I don’t know how to quit you and I want too. I finally realized that you didn’t love me like I loved you. You didn’t love me at all, you liked the power I gave you and how I made you feel. It’s like you look back to see if I’m still chasing you. I hate that I love you&nbsp;

Never ending cycle 

I miss being in love…I miss being loved by you. I don’t know if you genuinely loved me, I doubt it but I like to believe you did. I was so madly in love with you; one might say I was hopelessly devoted to you. I’m not sure why I’m yearning for what once was, I guess I like living in delusion&nbsp;

Yearning for what once was

I really don’t have much to say, but I’ve decided to go no contact with my family and increase my therapy session to once a week. I’ve also started taking medicine again, and all I can say is I’ve never felt better. There has been a shift in my life and I’ve felt actually happy. It’s like I finally know peace. I hope things continue to go this way but even if it doesn’t I’m prepared to make it through. I will say that I’m emotionally unavailable to everyone but I do feel inner peace for myself

Start anew 

We were never really together, it was just a facade but during the brief time I had you in my life I felt alive. I hadn’t been happy in a long time and you really made me feel like I was enough. I know I shouldn’t have based my happiness on you, that wasn’t fair to you and with me doing that I created unreal expectations. In my mind you made me feel safe; I felt worthy of love for once and I truly thought I hadn’t been in or experienced love until you. I wish I could take it all back because now I’m emotionally unavailable. I don’t feel anything for anyone in my life anymore, friends and family included. I don’t blame you for that, I was hurt way before you but I think you were my last straw. My foundation of sanity started to crack when you left my life. My chest feels heavy nonstop and I just feel myself slipping away. Idk what’s happening to me but it’s scary, who knew one person could cause all this pain. I knew from the beginning you were lovebombing me and I know how that ends but I couldn’t leave, you were just so nice and I was falling hard. I had the chance too and I even tried to end things with you early on but you were so adamant about staying so I gave in. I’m not sure why I can’t let you go and move on, it’s never took me this long to detach from someone. Who knew that my little highschool crush from years ago could cause all of this emotional damage. I really want to forget you ever existed because this heartache isn’t worth it

Unavailable 

I thought I was over you… I truly did. I started eating again, I stopped rereading our messages wondering where I went wrong or what I could’ve did to stop you from leaving, I stopped counting the days since we last spoke, and I even started going to therapy. I did all these things to forget you and heal but I still find myself reminiscing about the small things and wondering what we could’ve been. I thought I was over you but I still wake up and hope that I’ll see a text from you even though I know that I never will. I still randomly cry and wish that I could go back and change things because all I ever wanted was you. I’m not sure why I want someone who doesn’t think about me at all and discarded me with ease. The scariest part about all of this is that now I wonder if I truly loved you or if it was just attachment and me mistaking it for love. I’m not used to basic kindness and care from others so when I get it I tend to cling to that person… you were my person H. My heart still hurts when I think about you, I just wish all the memories of you could just be erased so I can finally let go.

Attachment issues

Well it’s officially my birthday and I couldn’t be more sad. I only have myself to celebrate with. I have no contact with my family and it’s not like they would reach out. Idk why but I feel extremely empty inside and I just want everything to go away.&nbsp;

Heres to 22

It’s been 25 days since we last spoke. I know my last message to you said pretend I don’t exist and that you were my biggest heartbreak which is true, but maybe I could’ve worded it differently. I was hurt and still am but I miss you and wish we could talk but I also despise you; it’s a thin line between love and hate. I honestly just want closure. I still cry randomly during the day and confide in my best friend about my heartbreak. I love him so much for being my rock during this but I just wish I could move on. My heart hurts more at night, I start to think about everything and questioning what’s wrong with me and why I wasn’t enough. I’m tired of crying and being miserable. I’m tired of hurting and hating myself and tearing myself apart, questioning why I’m not worthy enough to be loved; only used for temporary entertainment and lust. I bared my heart and soul to you, let you into my mind. I thought you were my safe space but I couldn’t be more wrong. You are a user and horrible person yet I love you and hate you at the same time. H you broke me irrevocably and I just want to let all the pain and memories of you to go away&nbsp;

Day 25

Everyday I tell myself I’ll be okay and that I don’t miss you but the more I lie to myself the more it hurts. The love I had for you burned brighter than a thousand suns. I know it’s cliche but I never realized I found love before you, you were my twin flame. When I think about you my heart pangs and my eyes well up with tears. I truly believe that in another universe, in another timeline, in a different world, we were meant to be… I just wish you felt the same. I guess once upon a time you did but maybe it was just temporary lust for you. I think what hurts more is that I’m emotionally broken from this and I probably don’t even cross your mind and you’re just living life per usual with whoever the next lucky girl is; just the thought of you sharing the passion and love I thought we had with someone else makes me physically sick to my stomach and I just want to curl up and cry. You’ll move onto the next while I’m just reminiscing in pain and delusion about what I thought we had

I miss you 

You broke me completely but yet I still long for you. I can be doing random activities and my mind would drift to memories of you or how you made me feel and then a wave of sadness would hit me, most times followed by tears. This isn’t fair that I’m affected so deeply by you leaving and you can care less. It sucks being an afterthought in someone’s mind, you’ve probably moved on while I’m just wallowing in self pity. I loved you with every fiber of my being and I thought you loved me too. Well atleast you said you did but I truly find that hard to believe; I think you just loved that I loved you. I was just pure entertainment that you discarded when you got bored and that hurts because I expressed to you how others treated me that way and you promised not too. I don’t understand how you can love someone and leave so easily…did I really mean so little to you? My heart aches because I miss you so much. I hate feeling this way and I hate missing you; how can I miss someone who’s hurt me over and over. The sick part about all of this is you abandoned and broke my heart 3 times and yet I still wanted you…even now I feel like I need you and I truly hate this for me. I want to let you go but I don’t know how. It’s been almost three weeks since we last spoke and even after all the pain I still think of you everyday when I know you haven’t thought of me once since. It’s kinda crazy how you lovebombed me, said we were twin flames, said you loved and worshipped me, and then decided I wasn’t enough; you completely washed your hands of me. Despite all of your flaws I accepted you and I thought you accepted me as I was… I guess I was wrong. I want to let you and all the pain go but the sad part about this is if you came back I would still welcome you with open arms because the love I have for you burns brighter than a thousand suns. I miss someone who doesn’t care whether I’m alive or dead right now

My greatest heartbreak

I’m not really sure what to say or how to even start but I guess I’ll just go for it. I’ve been struggling recently with how my life has been and what I’ve become. I’ve been having a lot of highs and lows but mainly lows. To be completely honest I’m just lost and I don’t know what to do with my life; I’m 21 and I wasn’t expecting to make it this far so each day is just a battle. There’s so many thoughts that run through my mind and &nbsp;trying to cipher through them all feels like I’m drowning. I feel like each day I wake up I’m sinking and at this point I’m kinda tired of trying to make it to shore… I just want to descend to the bottom in peace. Idk, maybe things will change for me one day but right now as I lay in bed and type this my heart is heavy and I’m tired

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My inner turmoil 

&nbsp;Exploring Odisha Through Its Map: A Journey into India's Eastern GemOdisha, nestled on the eastern coast of India along the Bay of Bengal, is a state known for its rich history, stunning architecture, diverse wildlife, and vibrant culture. But to truly understand the depth and diversity of this beautiful region, one must start with the map of Odisha—a visual gateway into its geography, districts, heritage, and hidden treasures.<h3>1. Geographical Overview</h3>Odisha covers an area of approximately 155,707 square kilometers. The state is bordered by West Bengal to the northeast, Jharkhand to the north, Chhattisgarh to the west, Andhra Pradesh to the south, and the Bay of Bengal to the east. The map highlights a mix of coastal plains, rolling hills, dense forests, and fertile river valleys.<h3>2. Administrative Divisions</h3>The state is divided into 30 districts, each with its own unique identity and cultural significance. Major districts like Khordha (home to the capital Bhubaneswar), Cuttack, Puri, and Sambalpur play a key role in Odisha’s political, cultural, and economic life.Bhubaneswar, the capital city, is known as the "Temple City of India."Cuttack, the former capital, is rich in history and craftsmanship.Puri is famous for the Jagannath Temple and the annual Rath Yatra.Koraput and Malkangiri showcase Odisha’s tribal culture and natural beauty.<h3>3. Natural Landmarks</h3>Odisha is home to a variety of natural attractions, all easily identifiable on the map:Chilika Lake, Asia’s largest brackish water lagoon.Simlipal National Park, a tiger reserve and biodiversity hotspot.Bhitarkanika National Park, known for its mangroves and saltwater crocodiles.The Eastern Ghats, which run through western Odisha and offer rich biodiversity.<h3>4. Cultural and Historical Sites</h3>From the map, you can trace the trail of Odisha's glorious past through sites such as:The Sun Temple in Konark, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.Lingaraj Temple in Bhubaneswar.Udayagiri and Khandagiri Caves, ancient Jain rock-cut shelters.Dhauli, associated with the Kalinga War and Emperor Ashoka's transformation.<h3>5. Tourist Circuits and Travel Routes</h3>Using the map, tourists can plan circuits like:Golden Triangle: Bhubaneswar – Puri – Konark.Tribal Tourism in southern Odisha (Koraput, Rayagada, Malkangiri).Eco-tourism around Chilika Lake, Satkosia Gorge, and Simlipal.<h3>6. Why the Odisha Map Matters</h3>For travelers, students, and researchers alike, the <a href="https://orissatours.com/odisha-of-map/">Odisha map</a> is more than just a layout of land—it’s a guide to exploring a state that balances tradition with progress, spirituality with natural splendor. Whether you're planning a trip or studying its demography and development, the map offers valuable insights.Final Thoughts Understanding Odisha through its map is like unfolding a story of ancient kingdoms, sacred temples, lush landscapes, and a resilient people. Whether you're visiting for its beaches, temples, or festivals, let the map of Odisha be your first step toward discovery.

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Odisha Map

&nbsp;Get Ready for the Upcoming Amazon Sale: Massive Discounts, Limited-Time Deals &amp; More!Are you ready to fill your cart without emptying your wallet? Amazon is back with one of its biggest sales of the year, and it’s the perfect time to grab those wish list items you've been eyeing! Whether you’re looking for the latest gadgets, fashion steals, home essentials, or beauty favorites, this <a href="https://giadesigners.com/amazon-upcoming-sale/">upcoming Amazon sale</a> is packed with unmissable deals.<h3>When is the Amazon Sale Happening?</h3>The upcoming Amazon sale is expected to go live on , running for&nbsp;full days of shopping madness. Early access might be available for Prime members, so make sure your membership is active to snag deals before everyone else!<h3>What to Expect: Categories to Watch</h3>Amazon never disappoints when it comes to variety. Here’s a sneak peek at what categories might feature deep discounts:Electronics: Smartphones, smartwatches, headphones, and accessoriesFashion: Up to 70% off on top clothing, footwear, and accessoriesHome &amp; Kitchen: Appliances, cookware, furniture, and home decor stealsBeauty &amp; Personal Care: Up to 60% off on top brandsBooks &amp; Stationery: Discounts on bestsellers, academic material &amp; journalsDaily Essentials: Grocery, health care, cleaning supplies and more<h3>Deals to Watch Out For</h3>While the exact offers are still under wraps, here’s what we’re expecting based on previous Amazon sales:Lightning Deals: Limited-time offers that are gone in a flashCombo Offers: Buy more, save moreBank Offers: Extra discounts with select credit/debit cardsExchange Offers: Upgrade gadgets at better prices<h3>How to Prepare</h3>Create or Update Your Amazon Wishlist – It helps to track price drops.Download the Amazon App – Stay on top of exclusive app-only deals.Set Alerts – Get notified when your favorite items go on sale.Compare Before You Buy – Use price trackers or review tools to make sure you’re getting the best deal.<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>The upcoming Amazon sale is shaping up to be a shopping bonanza. Whether you're a bargain hunter or just love the thrill of a good deal, this is your moment. Stay tuned, prep your cart, and be ready to click Buy Now—because deals this good don’t last long!

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Upcoming Amazon Sale

i grew up in a place without buses, or perhaps a place where i believed that the buses were not meant for me.now i meet the driver's eyes as he tells me to move to let other people pass. now i press the stop button when someone can't reach it. now i awkwardly wave someone more attractive to me toward an empty seat. now i feel more awkward when they let me have the seat.now i am surrounded by people that i don't know, people that i will probably never see again. i am lonely. i am in awe. i want to make connections but can't make the first step.

april 24th, 2025

&nbsp;<h2>Discovering the Wild Heart of Odisha: A Journey Through Its National Parks</h2>Odisha, the land of temples and tribal cultures, holds within its borders a lesser-known treasure — its rich and vibrant national parks. These sanctuaries are a haven for wildlife enthusiasts, nature lovers, photographers, and anyone looking to escape into the raw beauty of the Eastern Ghats and coastal plains. Let’s dive into the natural wonders Odisha has to offer!<h2>1. Simlipal National Park – The Crown Jewel</h2>Located in the Mayurbhanj district, Simlipal is the most prominent <a href="https://orissatours.com/wildlife-sanctuaries/">national park in Odisha</a>. Once a royal hunting ground, it now serves as a UNESCO Biosphere Reserve, spreading across 2,750 square kilometers. It’s famous for:Royal Bengal Tigers, leopards, elephantsOver 1,000 species of flowering plantsThe majestic Barehipani and Joranda waterfallsDense sal forests and grasslandsSimlipal is a paradise for eco-tourism and a must-visit if you're craving adventure mixed with biodiversity.<h2>2. Bhitarkanika National Park – India’s Mini Amazon</h2>Tucked away in the Kendrapara district, Bhitarkanika is a unique wetland ecosystem, home to:The largest population of saltwater crocodiles in IndiaRare species like the white crocodile and king cobraOver 270 species of birds, including migratory ones like the Asian openbill storkMangrove forests and tidal rivers perfect for boating safarisThis park offers a different flavor of wilderness — wild, watery, and teeming with life.<h2>3. Nandankanan Zoological Park – Where the Wild Roam Free</h2>Though not a traditional national park, Nandankanan in Bhubaneswar deserves mention. It’s a zoological-cum-botanical park with open enclosures where animals roam in natural habitats. It’s known for:White tigers, black panthers, and gharialsA large safari park and aquariumConservation breeding centersLush greenery and tranquil lakesGreat for families and school trips, Nandankanan is a gateway to wildlife education in Odisha.<h2>Best Time to Visit</h2>October to March is ideal for pleasant weather and increased chances of spotting wildlife.Avoid the monsoon (June to September) as many areas remain closed or become inaccessible.<h2>Travel Tips</h2>Carry binoculars and a camera — you will want to capture these moments.Dress in earthy tones to blend with the forest environment.Respect the sanctity of the parks: avoid littering, making loud noises, or disturbing animals.

National Park In Odisha

&nbsp;<h2>From Chandipur to Dublagadi: A Coastal Journey Worth Taking</h2>Odisha's coastline is dotted with hidden gems, and the stretch from Chandipur to Dublagadi (Bagda Sea Beach) is one of those underrated yet unforgettable routes. Whether you're a nature lover, a beach bum, or someone looking for a peaceful escape, this coastal drive has something magical to offer.<h3>Distance &amp; Travel Time</h3>The <a href="https://orissaguide.com/bagda-sea-beach-dublagadi-balasore-odisha/">Chandipur To Dublagadi Distance</a>&nbsp;is approximately 34 to 35 kilometers. The drive takes about 45 minutes to 1 hour, depending on the traffic and the exact route you take.Most travelers opt for the Dublagadi Road, which is locally known as Bagda Sea Beach Road. It’s a smooth ride through lush greenery, with the salty breeze hinting at the sea waiting at the end.<h3>Route Highlights</h3>Chandipur-on-Sea: Famous for its vanishing sea phenomenon, where the water recedes up to 5 km during low tide—truly a one-of-a-kind experience.Rustic villages: En route, you’ll pass by quaint fishing villages and paddy fields, giving you a slice of Odisha’s rural charm.Casuarina forests: Nearing Dublagadi, dense coastal forests line the road, creating a dramatic change in scenery that feels almost cinematic.<h3>Dublagadi (Bagda Sea Beach)</h3>Once you arrive at Dublagadi, you’re greeted by a serene, less-crowded beach with soft sands and a backdrop of casuarina trees. This beach is still untouched by mass tourism, making it ideal for camping, photography, and quiet reflection. On a lucky day, you might even spot red crabs dotting the shoreline.There are eco-resorts and camping facilities available if you want to stay overnight—and trust me, watching the sunrise here is worth waking up early for.<h3>Pro Travel Tip</h3>If you’re traveling in the monsoon or post-rain, check the road conditions beforehand. While the route is generally good, rural roads can get a bit bumpy in bad weather.<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>The drive from Chandipur to Dublagadi is more than just a change in location—it’s a transition from the known to the wild, from touristy shores to hidden coastal sanctuaries. If you’re planning a trip to Odisha, don’t miss out on this beautiful short journey.

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Chandipur To Dublagadi Distance

i want to try journaling again; i haven't written a diary since i was a kid.my life is like walking through a dense forest lately. every time i walk around a tree, everything looks the same but different. everything is new and scary and exciting and good and bad, all at the same time.i want to write fanfics. i want to write journal entries. i want to learn how to write essays for a ged i'll probably fail. i want to eat. i want to sleep. i want to read books and manga and light novels. i want to kiss some guy i've only seen through a youtube video, but not in a romantic way, just in an appreciation because he's talented way. like how people kissed the hands of kings of old.i want i want i want i wanti crave companionship and money and things most normal people want. i just don't know how to get those things yet.

april 23rd, 2025

&nbsp;Discovering the Wild Heart of Odisha: National Parks You Must ExploreOdisha, nestled on the eastern coast of India, is often celebrated for its ancient temples and vibrant tribal culture. But beyond its architectural marvels and traditional festivals, Odisha also hides a thriving wilderness—home to some of India's most captivating <a href="https://orissatours.com/wildlife-sanctuaries/">odisha national park</a> and wildlife sanctuaries.Whether you're a nature enthusiast, a wildlife photographer, or just someone looking to escape into the serene embrace of the forest, Odisha’s national parks offer something magical.<h3>1. Simlipal National Park – A Royal Retreat for Tigers and Elephants</h3>Located in the Mayurbhanj district, Simlipal National Park is a UNESCO World Network of Biosphere Reserves site and arguably Odisha's most renowned wildlife sanctuary. Spanning over 2,750 square kilometers, this park is a haven for Bengal tigers, wild elephants, leopards, and gaurs.Simlipal is not just about big cats and thick sal forests—it's also home to stunning waterfalls like Barehipani and Joranda, and tribal villages that offer a glimpse into ancient lifestyles harmonized with nature.Best time to visit: November to mid-June Highlights: Jungle safaris, birdwatching, nature treks, waterfalls<h3>2. Bhitarkanika National Park – The Mangrove Mystery</h3>If Simlipal is about dense forests and tigers, Bhitarkanika is all about mangroves, estuarine crocodiles, and exotic birds. Situated in the Kendrapara district, this unique national park is India’s second-largest mangrove ecosystem, after the Sundarbans.It’s especially famous for its saltwater crocodiles—the largest of which have been recorded at over 20 feet! You can explore the area by boat, gliding through emerald waterways surrounded by mangroves, kingfishers, and monitor lizards.Best time to visit: October to March Highlights: Boat rides, crocodile sightings, migratory birds, mangrove trails<h3>3. Satkosia Tiger Reserve – Where the Mahanadi Flows Wild</h3>Cradled along the gorge formed by the Mahanadi River, Satkosia Tiger Reserve is a less explored gem. With its stunning combination of dense forests, deep valleys, and riverine ecosystems, Satkosia is perfect for eco-tourism.Although tiger sightings are rare, the park is rich in biodiversity, including leopards, sloth bears, mugger crocodiles, and many species of deer and birds. It’s also ideal for camping under the stars by the riverbank.Best time to visit: November to April Highlights: River cruises, crocodile conservation, nature camps, trekking<h3>4. Chilika Lake and Nalabana Bird Sanctuary – A Birdwatcher’s Paradise</h3>While not a national park in the strictest sense, Chilika Lake—Asia's largest brackish water lagoon—deserves mention for its extraordinary birdlife. Located in Puri, Khurda, and Ganjam districts, the lake hosts over a million migratory birds every winter, including flamingos, pelicans, and rare species like the Asiatic dowitcher.Within Chilika, Nalabana Island is designated as a bird sanctuary and is a must-visit for ornithologists and photographers alike.Best time to visit: November to February Highlights: Birdwatching, boat safaris, dolphin spotting, island hopping<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>Odisha’s national parks are still off the beaten path compared to other Indian wildlife destinations, which makes them perfect for travelers looking for raw, unfiltered nature. Whether it’s cruising through crocodile-infested mangroves, hiking in tiger territory, or watching flamingos paint the skies pink—Odisha invites you to discover its wild side.So, pack your binoculars and sense of adventure. Odisha’s wild wonders await!

Never ending cycle

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