Reflection

Firstly, I want to thank God , I was in a much better place compared to last year's April. Always start with thanksgiving. 

Secondly, God has been speaking to me through the pastor's sermon. I am loved by God and I am not a mistake. I was deeply touched by God last Sunday's sermon. The reason was that I was very vulnerable last Saturday and shared openly with Joanne that I was a mistake to begin with and I made very serious mistakes. I felt like an utter failure in life. I am like one foot step in God's world and other foot in the secular world, fighting off suicidal tendencies and negativity. Depression made me feel all is hopeless and grey. I saw no way out. 

Then God spoke very clearly the very next day. The pastor said “ There is someone who felt very hopeless. God wants to change your name. You may feel like you have made so many mistakes but I can help you ” Then in the middle of the sermon, he stopped and asked everyone to sing this song. 

I Will Change Your Name

I will change your name
You shall no longer be called
Wounded, outcast
Lonely or afraid

I will change your name
Your new name shall be
Confidence, joyfulness
Overcoming one
Faithfulness, friend of God
One who seeks my face.

As we sang, in my vision, I saw the younger me holding His hands. I felt the raw wounds were applied by His balm via this song. I felt I was in a better mental state. Yup.