Let`s skip the headline...
why it`s so confusing to give headline ….is it really hard it to give headline ? or just being hard for me. I am here after many days. I don`t know writing here is right or not…but still I wanted to write, that`s why I decided to write something every day …Due to some work, I can`t make it and I don`t have anything to write(that`s lie…so many things going through my mind).Today I have done so many things .At morning I started with Leetcode question ,maybe I solve 3-4 Questions..my question solving speed so slow that I feel like I am very dumb …but today I solved question in better way, maybe not but I am feeling this way. and it`s good feeling .I think I am improving but very slowly I have to more focused and give more time to study only…yess study only …I really needed self note for myself that I must focused on myself only..don`t think about others idiot, because they don`t !! why do they like this? maybe they are right they think about themselves. they do things benefits them. if someone can`t do this that`s not their mistake. but it hurts naaa and I hated it !!! I am tired of showing that it doesn`t affect me,because it hurts lots!!! Not 1-2 but all are same…time to time say showed me why I shouldn`t give them itni jyada importance…instead of investing on this people I must have focus on myself …but stupid me don`t get this simple thing..and everytime do same mistake,they take you granted baby ..they know that you are always there..so they treat you as option..when there is no one they remembers you or when they needed or they have time..but you make time for them..that`s the difference …why you don`t get it ? I am not saying you don`t give importance to them because I know you can`t do this …you get melt over little things they do..even there simple sweet words and you forgot everything..maybe I just expecting so much from them .. that`s why get hurts..Don`t ever make this mistake again baby..I never treat on my convienence naaa…if they tell me some thing to do then they must trust me naa…if they are telling this thing to others also ..so means they don`t trust me or what ??? I never made such back up plan…and that`s my biggest mistake…people changes so their mind. if they find thing that`s more benefiting …they choose that opportunity..and right if that is beneficial for them..then why would they choose me…I am only idiot I thinks about them..can`t they tell me clearly already …so I can make my another back up plan like them..it`s you mistake baby..if you have talent and skills then people will come automatically.but I never treat anyone on basis of their skills..or if they ae studious then they are beneficial…so stop wasting your precious time on people who doesn`t value youu,focus on youself baby just youself..got it!!!! give time people who genuinely care for you ..how to identify that who really cares??they just show themselves an show that they cared?? so that`s really real ?? or again they come according to their convienence …maybe not their fault!! but their responce time of my msg their asking same thing to other friend says all instead of verifying me directly telling to other friend ..so that`s means they doesn`t trust me or what ??? why I like them instead other people who really treats me well but again about them I feel same that get doesn`t get what they like first that`s why after not getting that.they come to me so really they are here because of me or only because they didn`t get I was their first choice ..I listen somewhere
“We Accept the LOVE We THINK We DESERVE”
It`s in movie called ‘the perks of being wallflower’..I still remembered I cried during that movie..(of course that`s not new new thing for me to crying over movies..But that`s feels so real that I can feel them..any I can`t them being so hurt even I know they are acting not real) so about quote I think that`s real..sometimes you just thinks you don`t deserv it..maybe that`s the reason I don`t think I have something (I am not good at anything , not good looking ) . but it`s okay!!! I don`t need anyone. I can do it alone…just focus on my own business ..you only has one work baby just study…can`t you do thattt , yesss you can !!!! you can do anything …you are the best!!! let them loose you , their loss not yours !!!! If they want to realise your value only after losing you let them..don`t think it`s your fault..just remember don`t give anyone that power of hurting you..don`t allow them …and don`t get sad over little things..you are super strong baby..you are going to handle all things rightly ..just belive in yourself and have faith on bappa ..he must decided someting that`s right for you just have patience and trust on them..