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Be myself

Heyyo!! I feel totally bad...very very bad and am here to vent everything duh! Where do I even start?! So far it hadn't been good and now it's too bad. What are you worried about you ask, I would say "what not to WORRY about". Everything is a mess....now the lyrics I'm a Mess, am a loser, am a hater, am a user- sync in perfectly. HAHAHAHA. I can't just go and be transparent, telling everything to someone. Because it feels sooooooo worse. The emotions are mixed. I want to cry but am angry. Am worried and patting my own shoulders, bluntly believing that someday everything is going to be alright. 

Being all happy and joyful for 3 days and the 4th day comes some bad news followed by hard to bery hard days on the 5th and the 6th. Then I would feel nothing on the 7th day - a system shut down. 

I have read somewhere that the size of our hearts is equal to that of our palms. Not sure if that's true, but if that is the case, then it's a wonder. Common, how much can such a little heart bear? Its keeps on getting heavier every day. 

Just....just want to cry out loud, but I can't. If I do, then there is going to be a soul who is going to be worried about me. She might start thinking that she is building up extra burdens on my shoulders. But it's okay. I am okay and I want her to not just be okay. I want her to be happy.    

Am realizing a lot of things lately. From the outside, everything and everyone looks so good. But we will never know what we are enduring. If only I had someone who would never ever judge me or my lifestyle, I wouldn't be here....hehe. But it's not that am in some kind of depression or that am alone. No no. Not at all! I have everyone- an amazing family who are always there protecting me and fantastic friends..well, I have earned great friendships all the years, who are always there as my backbone, and also a big source of power- my ANPANMAN, my Wonder Woman. 

Okay so now I would like to put an end to my ranting....to conclude on am awaiting PEACE *showing you the V symbol*. Don't worry about me, am alright..really...completely alright. Nothing's wrong. Everything good!

*THE END* to my first write-up                                                                        *Clap clap*