Confusion Confusion

anonymous
Privacy: anonymous


Hi,

This is my first sharing about my thoughts online. I don't know how to express myself clearly. Right now my thoughts are scattered.. don't know if my perspective is right or wrong.

It's been few years of our marriage.. he is sweet loving caring husband. But he is very practical. Sometime I feel he is bit ahead of time in the way he perceive the things. May be this thought process might not be ideal & suitable in all the circumstances. I am practical but emotional at the same time. Depending on the situation I will handle it in either way. As a result, if we both have different point of views in any situation (like one is logical other is emotional), I will be compromising in most of the situations. But is that correct ?

For example, when any 2 people meet they will have shyness, bit of awkwardness, excitement, interest everything. As time passes, they become more comfortable with each other as their relationship grows. But if one person shares some thoughts which they are not comfortable or dislike and if the partner does the same even after knowing that. Does that mean the partner have respect towards the other. My wife point of view is I like it so I am doing it, but I love u and can't hurt u so don't probe or don't know these things. Even if u knew something don't share with me until I do as I need the space and not comfortable in discussing those topics. 

Initially I felt sad bad bit betrayed as I have heard so many lies but later understood her point of view and I thought I should respect that and accepted whatever has happened. But only requested not to repeat the same as I am not at all comfortable with that. However, she couldn't give her word as she is not sure abut herself and she want the freedom to commit the mistake … it doesn't mean she is gonna do that again but she wants that comfort and freedom. Honestly, I love her so much and I wanna give the same to her but I can't do that if she is being discreet and not honest with me.

I just don't like if the one person I am gonna share my entire life is lying to me or couldn't respect my thoughts. Don't know what's the right mindset to maintain in this situation… so I have decided to ignore and not to give much importance on whether I am hearing is truth or lie. Decided to give the space and concentrate more on myself, my career. 

The problem is I am being disturbed whenever I am realizing what I heard earlier is a lie. Feeling sad that even though I am allowing & giving space still my partner is not being honest, trusting me enough to share with me. May be she might share in future but until then what's the best way to deal with this ???

 

 

 

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