Is it my fault?
Anonymous
It has been a long while since I pen my thoughts. I felt indignant. I just bought the new tingkat , washed and waiting for it to dry and use. It looks nice, shiny and beautiful. The next day I saw my mom chucking the tingkat in a corner, which I had not asked her to do so. To my horror, the lid to the 3rd one disappeared. She always do things halfway, if she had transferred all the tingkat pieces , perhaps the lid might not have disappeared. The tingkat pieces are scattered everywhere, up in the dishrack, on the shelf. Basically, she has only goldfish memory and I have to pick her pieces. I exploded at her and questioned her where she has misplaced it. As usual, she said she didnt keep. That infuriate me further. I released my anger by smashing everything in sight.There is only 1 person, which is me doing chores and my mom who tries to do chores but fail. I just left everything to dry on the dishrack, there is no way that the tingkat pieces could fly to the shelf. I did not ask her to do so as I know pieces of tingkat would be missing. I prayed, God, help me, I need to find it. But I could not find it. I was super upset. Hatred , bitterness and resentment arose in my heart. An insidious thought grew. Shall I stabbed myself and return my life to her? I couldnt take her nonsense any longer. I asked Joanne, am I utter mistake? Hot scalding tears flow down my face right now. My dad told me to find again. I lost it. I stayed outside until 11pm last night while chatting with Joanne. Mom, you do know I am alive because of prayers , right? Else I would be dead last year.
My dad tried to call and leave a message. I refused to pick up.
Dear God, Help me. That is the only prayer I could utter right now.
Related Journals
Discover more inspiring stories
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving
Ask: if there’s a question ask it. Don’t stand there and say “is there something you want to tell me?!”All because Z ask…
by Anonymous
Forever unloved
Forever unloved
HiIt's 19th September. Life has been changed so much, but I never knew this much. My CPU has been stuck for the last 17 …
by Anonymous
Can't Sleep
Can't Sleep
It's so irritating!!! When u wanted to sleep,but u can't able to sleep.I don't know why I am thinking about stupid thing…
by Anonymous
Feeling like I woke up to reality and I’m not happy
Feeling like I woke up to reality and I’m not happy
I’ve been married since 2017 and have been together since 2012. I should have left him a long time ago. I didn’t realize…
by Anonymous
june 3rd, 2025
june 3rd, 2025
i can't help but wonder what others see when they look at me. do they see someone confidant or scared? happy or sad? cru…
by Anonymous
How shedding old skin and letting go feels like .
How shedding old skin and letting go feels like .
So,from past few days I am having some troubles with my boyfriend ,he is'nt texting me whenever i say lets talk all i ge…
by Anonymous
Got bigger table | Happiness in small items | Hardship
Today, I got this table from my landlord. Earlier, he gave me his chair too. I've been craving for a bigger table f…
by Another Unheard Man
Me vs Me: The battle between us
Me vs Me: The battle between us
From self awareness, I am naturally comfortable with everything detrimental to someone's life. I can watch movies and re…
by Anonymous
april 23rd, 2025
april 23rd, 2025
i want to try journaling again; i haven't written a diary since i was a kid.my life is like walking through a dense fore…
by Anonymous
Happy News Year!!!
Happy News Year!!!
Today is gudi padwa! I am at hostel . If Is wanted to go home I can be.. Still i don't know why I am even here… ma…
by Anonymous
Self-love is a new gen word, where every girl ,every woman talk about it,prioritize self love in their lives. Self love …
by Anonymous
Maybe Something Hopefully Nothing
Maybe Something Hopefully Nothing
I take comfort in the fact that I can go through the days alone. I know that I don't need many people in my life and I a…
by Anonymous