June 16th 2024

I'm quickly starting to realise that nothing can really save me. 

I'm still in the same mindset as I have been for however long I've been in the mindset of not wanting to be here. 

I'm incredibly drained in a lot of aspects of life, I don't even feel like I can be a mother at this point. It's like my body is just here, doing what I have to do, answering questions, listening to what's been said but I feel like I'm so empty but it's not just with being a parent. It's interacting with everyone. It's like playing pretend except you aren't getting any joy out of it. But what is happy really? I don't know, I don't think I'll ever know.