I've been trying to do my karma, and not indulge or complain about other's karma. But, how can you avoid when you are living with a person 24 hours and ignore her bad words or behavior.
Give me salad please
So in the after-noon, we were having lunch. She prepared most of thing, no doubt. During lunch, I asked her to give me salad. A simple thing. It was lying on table itself. But, my hands were dirty. My parents were also sitting on table having lunch. She insisted me to take it from myself. I repeated, my hands are dirty, please give. She ignored. I repeated, she ignored. I shouted again, give me. She came, and raised her voice and said same thing, take it yourself. But, she did not give it to me. I counted that I repeated this thing 5 times. She even came closer to me but did not give it to me.
I mentioned, she prepared almost whole lunch. But, the thing is if I ask a simple thing or suggest something about food. She doesn't count it. She does it according to her mood.
I was surprised that even after repeating this much, she did not give. Even she came to fight with me even in the presence of my parents. I was feeling helpless. For the first time, I had to raise my voice in front of my parents complaining about her. She always does this. Thats it.
Looking for flat
We were looking for flat nearby. We were discussing about this for some time. I called one of my relative to take help. They instantly suggested few flats in their society. She also liked their society, and suggested me to take a look. I was looking at various societies for quite some time.
She raised few points, I raised few points. It was like a proper discussion going on. After few moments, she started complaining. I can not discuss with you. You are putting your points only. I was like WTF. We were discussing. She wanted me to accept her expectations only.
This happens always. When we wanted to buy car. She did never listen to me. When she put some points, I should immediately accept them. Else, there will be conflicts. And, I have to accept.
I stopped immediately, my mood became worse. I just left without saying anything. I did not want to see any flat from then. Whey the hell I want to spend any more money. I just went to my bed.
Clean the Spider Nets
So she told me in the morning to clean up the house and specially spider nets. This is when our maid had already cleaned the house. This will cause another dirt in house. I said, I will do it on Monday. She immediately became furious, how can I refuse her demand.
She never care about my parents. My mother was there, and she shouted. She said, you are doing it intentionally. I said what? She just continuously said bla-bla. I always stay silent in front of my parents. But, she never stopped.
Its happening almost daily, specially in front of my parents. She provoke me with something. She said some words, and I replied. After few rounds, she just say: You always do this. I tried to put my point, its you who started this. I tried to mention how it started. She just never agree.
Today, she was changing her cloths with door open. I entered in room and asked what is this. Can't you close your room while change. She just took it casually. I said, its not like only we live in this house. My father could have entered in room. But no point.
This reminded me another incident which happened in our initial days of marriage. I will mention it in other post
She is very dominating in almost everything. She has destroyed our relationship. We can not even discuss something on positive note. She just want if any discussion happening, I should accept whatever she said.
There is no love, only formalities. Its frustration filled atmosphere. Suicidal thoughts are there. Its only kids who kept me alive. I do think of divorce, but thought of leaving kids do not allow me think of it.
I feel the feeling of living without her, it will be joyful. But, as per Indian laws. Kids will have to stay with her mother. Thinking about family pressure, scares me.