It has been 10 hours since I broke up with him. It has never been harder to breathe. I have lost my oxygen from my life. Every breath reminds me of him. Every millisecond makes me crazy remembering that he is gone, forever.
I hated to say the word "Forever" because that's what your ex used to say. I was insecure about her. But I am not now. You made me believe in Love. Fighting all odds, my parents, my friends, my career, and everything else, I stood by your side. I thought that this is what Love is meant to be, but no. What you saw was that I faked every emotion. I disrespected you and cheated on you.
I gave you numerous chances to pull me back. We both were like opposite poles of magnets, I used to go away only waiting to be pulled back.
But not this time.
I'm scared now. Scared that this might be the end.
You have read my message an hour before. But didn't reply. You consider this as the end.
The urge to cry is intensifying for me. I wish to just write down every feeling here. Because I have no one to talk to. You chose the path without me. I have to respect your decision. But, I want to shout. I want to scream. I want to pull you closer and tell you that "I Love You". My thoughts are getting suicidal. But even my suicide won't bring you happiness. The call records and internet history will bring you under suspicion. And, I don't want that. I want you to be happy. I want you to smile. I know tears will eventually vanish away. Someone else will wipe away those tears and fill you with Love, what I failed to do.
You said you love me. I want to believe you. We love each other but we can't stay together. Everyday fights are not normal. This isn't a healthy relationship. I feel like grabbing this opportunity and confessing that I Love You too. My life is miserable without you. But, we need to fix things first. I don't know what I am supposed to do now.